I'll just preface this by saying that Thane is going to be great for this blog. He gives me new material every day.
On to the story...
As if you weren't worried enough about those "play tubes" at fast food joints, I'm going to give you another reason to think twice before cutting your children loose into them. (Although as gross as this story is, I can guarantee my children will still be playing in them.)
Anyway, yesterday we met the cousins and went to the Burger King play area. It's a great place to socialize while the kids stay entertained, so when my phone rang and I saw my long winded landlord was calling, I did not hesitate at all to take the call. After all, I had to talk to him and I thought that this would be better then at home with them climbing all over me and yelling in the background.
About 5 minutes into the call, I look over and see that Thane is outside of the play area starting to take his pants off. Immediately I tell him to keep his pants on. My landlord hears this, laughs, but then continues giving me instructions for the move out/key exchange. Thane meanwhile has ignored my request and manages to get his pants and underwear completely off while staying out of my reach. (My reach is not that far in the first place, but it was further stinted by Luke being in one arm and the phone being smashed between my shoulder and ear in the other.) At this point I am mouthing desperate pleas for Thane to put his pants back on. He responds by spreading his legs, raising his pants and underwear in the air, wiggling side to side and singing "I peed my pants, I peed my pants!" He has done this dance/song before and even though frustrating, it makes me laugh every time. Big mistake. He sees my attempt to hide the smile and thinks it's an opportunity to make it a game. At this point, he throws his underwear and pants on the table and takes off toward the door that separates the play area and the main restaurant. Fortunately my landlord is wrapping things up at this point (I'll have to call him back to get the instructions since I wasn't paying attention). I put Luke down and head to the door while firmly calling "Nathaniel Bruce!" (Can I just insert here that this is exactly the reason we named him Nathaniel instead of just "Thane". When he is in trouble I need something longer to yell.)
As I'm heading toward the door that Thane has now managed to open and disappear into I look up at the glass wall surrounding the door and see a cop looking in. I just knew that an indecent exposure ticket was in our future...if not today...then someday!
Steam escaping from my ears, I push open the door and watch as Thane runs a big circle, careful to run by EVERY TABLE in the restaurant, and stops when he catches my eye. It was like in one of those western movies and I could hear the background music in my head. I didn't say a word, just flared my nostrils and pointed to the ground in front of me. He slowly made his way toward me and I stood my ground. At about a foot away I think he realized the error of his ways and tried to flee again...this time for his life. Without a phone and baby this time, I was able to snatch his little arm. He got a little pop on his naked butt and we gathered our stuff and left. All that being said, I have no idea where that puddle of pee was/is. I'm sure some child...maybe even yours, sopped it up with their jeans. I would like to give a shout out to them. Thanks for cleaning up the mess.
Where Caleb would have been distressed for hours about being punished, I believe that Thane truly forgot about the whole incident within 5 minutes. When we got in the car he looked at me while I was buckling him in and said "I wuv you mommy, you so so super duper bootiful....can we watch movie on way home?" Awesome kid!
...and no, I didn't punish him for this one. That kid is so ornery, but he is just so darn cute. I just asked him very nicely not to do it again. He answered with a sweet "yes, mommy".