Life As We Know It

Thane

2011-08-26T11:28:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, I haven't blogged about our awesome road trip to Alaska and anything since. I will do that...tomorrow...I promise...maybe. Anyway, in the meantime, I just had to insert a couple conversations with Thane. He's so incredibly random...just like his mommy. This kid cracks me up!

Thane: I’m going to go to Caleb’s school park and play and stay there forever and ever and you will never see me again.

Me: Well, what happens when you get hungry?

Thane: Eat my pants

Ben: What happens when you have to go poop, who’s gonna wipe your butt.

Thane: Me!

Me: What happens when you get cold?

Thane: Pee my pants.

Well then, as long as you have a plan…

Thane: Mommy, can you take off my skin?

Me: Why do you want to take off your skin?

Thane: So I can be dead. I want to be a polar bear.

Me: I’m not seeing how any of this relates.

Thane: Take off my skin. I want to be a polar bear. Someone will shoot me and I will be dead. I will be a nice polar bear to you guys (eyebrow wiggle)

Butter Obsession

2011-06-07T11:54:00.000-07:00

I've mentioned Thane's butter obsession before, but I really think we are nearing the point where intercession is needed. My friend Alena was over and we were chatting in the living room when I realized that I hadn't heard from or seen Thane in awhile. I decided to look for him. My search led me into the kitchen.

That couldn't be a child, could it? I opened the door just a little....

Wow Thane. hiding in the fridge? What are you eating?

"I eating butter mommy."

Gross. Yep, that was a new stick of butter when he started. The foil outer cover didn't stop him. He found the goodness inside.

Dinner Conversation

2011-05-25T21:22:00.000-07:00

Warning: this post involves poo. Stop reading here if poo grosses you out.

You never know what conversation will occur around the Kumor dinner table. It is a special time that always makes us smile. Tonight, the conversation was interesting. Ben had to have a talk with Thane about why he needs to ask mommy or daddy to help him wipe after he goes potty.
Let's rewind a bit here....
Thane is such an independent little fellow. He honestly thinks that he can do anything that Ben or I can do. Lately he has decided that he can go potty all by himself whenever he wants/needs to and subsequently take care of the mess. Some of you have been fortunate enough to witness this. He will drop trou and start peeing wherever he feels like it. The bushes at church, a tree at the zoo, or even the car tires. Now, this is not his fault. Because he decided to potty train himself at an inconvenient time for me, I have had him pee outside many times when I forgot to have him go before leaving somewhere that had a facility. The whole wiping thing though, yeah...just a little gross.
Yesterday I noticed that he was walking around naked. I said "hey buddy, put your pants on." He left the room and came back with his pants on. Later that day I went into the bathroom and found that he had went number 2. Sure enough, inspection revealed that Thane was the culprit. He hadn't even asked for help! I cleaned him up and explained that he should ask for help next time. Guess I wasn't clear enough.
Today, I hear him in the bathroom while I'm feeding Luke and tell him I'm coming. I walk in to find him post poo, squatting and wiping his butt on the rug. He has reached around to see if he got it all and is now wiping his hands on his shirt. Really? I can't get my 5 year old to even try to take care of this himself, but I am begging my 2 year old to let me know when he is going to go to the bathroom. Something is wrong here.
Fast foward back to the dinner table...
Ben summed it all up well with these statements to our children.
"Caleb, there are a lot of things that you don't think you can do, that you can do just fine by yourself. Thane, there are alot of things that you think you can do by yourself that you just need a little help with. What we need to do is find a happy medium."

New Material

2011-05-13T19:00:00.000-07:00

I'll just preface this by saying that Thane is going to be great for this blog. He gives me new material every day.
On to the story...
As if you weren't worried enough about those "play tubes" at fast food joints, I'm going to give you another reason to think twice before cutting your children loose into them. (Although as gross as this story is, I can guarantee my children will still be playing in them.)
Anyway, yesterday we met the cousins and went to the Burger King play area. It's a great place to socialize while the kids stay entertained, so when my phone rang and I saw my long winded landlord was calling, I did not hesitate at all to take the call. After all, I had to talk to him and I thought that this would be better then at home with them climbing all over me and yelling in the background.
About 5 minutes into the call, I look over and see that Thane is outside of the play area starting to take his pants off. Immediately I tell him to keep his pants on. My landlord hears this, laughs, but then continues giving me instructions for the move out/key exchange. Thane meanwhile has ignored my request and manages to get his pants and underwear completely off while staying out of my reach. (My reach is not that far in the first place, but it was further stinted by Luke being in one arm and the phone being smashed between my shoulder and ear in the other.) At this point I am mouthing desperate pleas for Thane to put his pants back on. He responds by spreading his legs, raising his pants and underwear in the air, wiggling side to side and singing "I peed my pants, I peed my pants!" He has done this dance/song before and even though frustrating, it makes me laugh every time. Big mistake. He sees my attempt to hide the smile and thinks it's an opportunity to make it a game. At this point, he throws his underwear and pants on the table and takes off toward the door that separates the play area and the main restaurant. Fortunately my landlord is wrapping things up at this point (I'll have to call him back to get the instructions since I wasn't paying attention). I put Luke down and head to the door while firmly calling "Nathaniel Bruce!" (Can I just insert here that this is exactly the reason we named him Nathaniel instead of just "Thane". When he is in trouble I need something longer to yell.)
As I'm heading toward the door that Thane has now managed to open and disappear into I look up at the glass wall surrounding the door and see a cop looking in. I just knew that an indecent exposure ticket was in our future...if not today...then someday!
Steam escaping from my ears, I push open the door and watch as Thane runs a big circle, careful to run by EVERY TABLE in the restaurant, and stops when he catches my eye. It was like in one of those western movies and I could hear the background music in my head. I didn't say a word, just flared my nostrils and pointed to the ground in front of me. He slowly made his way toward me and I stood my ground. At about a foot away I think he realized the error of his ways and tried to flee again...this time for his life. Without a phone and baby this time, I was able to snatch his little arm. He got a little pop on his naked butt and we gathered our stuff and left. All that being said, I have no idea where that puddle of pee was/is. I'm sure some child...maybe even yours, sopped it up with their jeans. I would like to give a shout out to them. Thanks for cleaning up the mess.
Where Caleb would have been distressed for hours about being punished, I believe that Thane truly forgot about the whole incident within 5 minutes. When we got in the car he looked at me while I was buckling him in and said "I wuv you mommy, you so so super duper bootiful....can we watch movie on way home?" Awesome kid!

My dear children...

2011-05-06T07:45:00.000-07:00

I've decided to start updating my blog again. Mainly because I think I will make it into a book for my children someday...so that they will understand why I turn crazy in my old age.

You know the kitchen faucets that are handheld and extend to about 6 inches outside of the kitchen sink? Yeah, Thane knows about them too. He discovered ours while I was in the shower today. From the bathroom I heard the water hitting the kitchen floor and knew exactly what was happening. I yelled for him to stop and told him not to make a mess.

When I finally made it into the kitchen, I saw the chair up to the sink and a lovely lake of water on the kitchen floor but no Thane. A little bit of searching and I found him, hiding in the pantry. His little eyes were peeking out at me and I said "Thane, what are you doing honey". He answered very sweetly, "I 'fraid of you mommy".

...and no, I didn't punish him for this one. That kid is so ornery, but he is just so darn cute. I just asked him very nicely not to do it again. He answered with a sweet "yes, mommy".

Caleb: year 4 recap

2010-11-07T06:20:00.000-08:00

I keep a word document open for each boy during the year and write down the funny things they say. Since Caleb just turned 5, I was looking through his document. This is definitely the funniest year yet- so I just had to share some highlights:

October:
Caleb: "Get out of here slime monster"
Mommy: (yelling from bathroom) "Yeah, get out of our house slime monster! ....Caleb, there is a slime monster in our house?"
Caleb: "Yeah, Thane is the slime monster"
Mommy:"Ohhhh, was that Thane that just sneezed?"
Caleb: "Yeah, he slimed all over his face. I could wipe it with a broom!"
Mommy:"Uh, how about we use a tissue."

November:
Cousin Katie: "Caleb, how do you know so much about dinosaurs?"
Caleb: "Oh, I don't know, maybe it's because I have a great brain."
Katie: "Oh, yeah! What's 50 + 50?"
Caleb: "Ummmm, 10?"
Katie: "No, it's 100!"
Caleb: (Puts head in hands) "Arrrgh!"

December:
I thought I heard Ben coming down the hill in his truck so I told Caleb to look out the window because daddy was coming. Caleb informed me that it wasn't daddy, but a silver truck. As he sat there watching out the window he mumbled "Mommy, you are the girl who cried daddy!"

February:
(Caleb runs into room) "I can stop you if I can" (evil laugh)

March:
I was cutting some chicken for dinner with a large knife when Caleb did something to make Thane cry in the living room. I said "Caleb come here, right now" and when he came into the room I turned around quickly, knife still in hand. I said, "Caleb, you better be nice to your brother!" He got a very concerned look on his face and said "...or you'll cut my head off?"

April:
While I was showering, Caleb read Thane a nursery rhyme book. When I got out I said "wow Caleb, did you read him that whole book?" Caleb replied, "Yeah, I sang him all the songs too...(giggling)...but Rock a bye baby didn't turn out very well because Bowser was in it."

Take that HIPPA!

2010-06-03T02:59:00.000-07:00

Many of you may not know this, but I have been secretly persuing my medical degree part time while still taking care of the children at home. It's been long and hard, but I have evidently completed enough schooling to help out the doctors here. Okay, not really... but I did get to help. Yesterday, the guys working on the generator building ran out of bricks so David offered to stay home with the children and let me go observe Ben work at the hospital. I jumped at the opportunity because 1) I like being around Ben and 2) I have never seen him at his work. I made it about 10 minutes in the ER before I teared up. Ben was taking care of a little girl who had an abscess on her leg that he had to cut open and drain. The poor girl was terrified of Ben but after a shot of ketamine she was knocked out. Across the room, Dr. Andy and Dr. Jim were pulling and tugging (I'm sure they were doing something a little more directed then just pulling and tugging, but to an outsider that's what it looked like) on a little guy's arm to reduce a fracture he had received from falling out of a tree. He was screaming in pain and his poor family was just standing beside him crying. It was so sad to watch but after they finished, Dr. Andy so kindly asked me if I would like to help put on his cast! (Now, help is probably not a good word, because he obviously could have done it without me and probably would have completed quicker, but I was pretty excited that he let me participate.)

After this I went back and watched Ben see a few patients. It was really fun to see him in his element. I was pretty impressed with his ability to communicate in Pidgin. He really has picked up a lot! I know I am biased, but I think he's pretty amazing.

Today there was still a shortage of bricks so David stayed with the kids again just for the afternoon and I went with Ben again. I really enjoyed just watching him and occasionally chatting with the patients. (This is pretty hard since the only phrases I know are "what's your name", "where are you from", and "are you alright". Of course, they aren't alright, that's why they are at the doctor's office. So that just leaves me with two phrases.) One lady who came in talked really good English, so while Ben was out of the room we chatted about alot of things. About 10 years ago she was hit over the head for no reason and had spent time in the ICU. She was back because of pain. Her and all of her siblings were pastors with the Assembly of God church. She was so sweet, and I really enjoying chatting with her.

After Ben was done we went to the maternity ward to make sure everything was quiet before heading home since he is on call. There was a little baby there who had an infection and just didn't look good at all. His poor mommy was standing beside the bed in the nursery just crying and watching. The baby was having apneas so while Ben was standing there, he told the mom to stimulate the baby by tapping his foot. Then Ben and the nurse went to get the medicine they were going to start him on. Right after they left, the mom just kept hitting the boys foot repeatedly trying to wake him to the point that she couldn't tell that he was breathing. I showed her to put her hand on his belly and that when it went up and down this was good- but if it wasn't going up and down to tap his foot. I then told her "pikinini bilong me, same ting. I pray for you". It's true, Caleb had apneas as a little new born, but it was nothing like this. There were moniters and wires surrounding him that would alert the nurse if his Oxygen sats dropped too low, and buzzers that would rouse him if he stopped breathing. Nurses were there within seconds to tap his feet if that didn't work. I do know how worried and helpless I felt though, and this mom was feeling those same things. I asked her his name so that I could pray for him, but she said he had no name yet. I remember last time we were here one of the missionaries told me that sometimes they will wait over a year to name them since there are so many infant deaths. So I asked the mother's name so I could pray for her. I couldn't quite hear her, but it was something like Ellie, so if you think of it, could you say a prayer for her and the baby. God knows who he is.

As I left the room after trying to comfort her, Ben said to me, "that baby isn't going to make it". I guess in my mind I hadn't even thought of the baby dying, I was just concerned for the poor mommy and how she was feeling. This hit me pretty hard though and I had to leave. I guess I don't know how he does it- I felt completely overwhelmed at even the thought that this child might not make it but he has dealt with actual deaths multiple times here. One of the sweet missionary ladies said to me that tears are okay, God is crying for them too. What love He has for us.

Baking Bread and town

2010-05-31T04:48:00.000-07:00

It's already been over 2 weeks since I blogged last! It seems like time is just flying by! A lot has gone on so I guess I will just pick some highlights. Right after the last blog, Gail Dooley invited me to her house to learn how to make bread. (Not that I hadn't attempted before...I had just failed miserably.) My husband will tell you that (for him) going to the Dooley bread making academy is the best decision I have made in my entire life...next to marrying him, of course. I love this picture though because it shows what I have to go through EVERY time I make bread. (Notice the little hands reaching into the dough ball on either side. I am constantly batting them away...along with two other big hands!) i've gotten pretty good at cranking out bread though, and I have decided I will hold my own breadmaking academy when I return....or make lots of bread and just sell it.

As for all of the other days- during the week the boys and I just do alot of hanging out and playing with the other kids on the station. There are two little guys here, Aiden and Wiley, and the Dooley girls. He really likes the girls, but is conflicted on whether or not he can admit it. You'll have to read Ben's blog for more on that.

Today a group of us went to town and we had a pretty good time. Thane loved not sitting in a car seat. The excitement was a little too much for him though and he crashed on Sam's (Dr. Bennett's son) lap. Caleb stayed back at Aunt Cathy's house to play with a couple other friends. I was incredibly proud of myself today at the store though. As I reached to pick up a package of noodles, a roach came crawling over it. I patiently waited for him to cross the package then picked up what I needed. Then I just kind of giggled that it was no big deal that there were roaches in the store. Even weirder (I don't know if that's a word but I'm using it) I find myself truly longing to live here... I can't believe we are over halfway through this trip!

It's getting late, so I'll fill in the rest of the time gap in pictures and captions...

We always walk everywhere, obviously, so whenever Thane wants to go outside he will line up our shoes and call us to them accordingly.

We like to go down to the river and hang out. This is a picture of Ethan and David "floating down". It looks deep, but really it's no more than a foot. They like to go up river and then walk on their hands back. They say it's fun, but then they complain of all of the rocks hitting them in the stomach, legs, etc. Doesn't sound too much fun to me. :)

This is at the canteena on the station. We like to walk there with the Dooley girls or meet the Riggins boys there and have a pop. The missionary kids like to get something called a doughball. I tried it once- it's dough fried in grease. Nothing else. I didn't finish mine....in fact I only took one bite and I was good for a lifetime. :)

Caleb and Thane posing. They are always this nice to each other and they are always smiling. Always.

Ben and I took Caleb tbung down a relatively calm area in the river. I was terrified we were going to flip and was paddling very hard with my left hand. This is when I lost my gold band. Let me know if you see it in the picture so I can go back and get it. Thanks.

Birthday, bush church, and COOKIES!

2010-05-16T20:30:00.000-07:00

This weekend was pretty eventful, and awful fun. On Saturday, the boys took a 3 hour trek each way to a cave with the intent of batting down fruit bats with sticks. Sound fun? Yeah, not to me either. (You can read about their adventure here). I stayed behind with the little boys and went to a 5 year old birthday party for Olivia Dooley. It was a pool party and would have been super fun if Thane wasn't feeling under the weather. :( Caleb had a good time splashing in the pools though and we got to eat some cake- so that in itself made it a good day. At the end of the party, the boys had returned with a bat so Scott Dooley cooked it up and Allison (the oldest Dooley girl) ate it.... with a little coaxing. :)

On Sunday we went to Masi church with the Dooleys. Masi is a little bush church about a 30 minute walk from the station. The scenery on the way to church was, per usual, breathtaking and a great way to spend Sunday morning. The service was completely in Pidgin, but they were definitely serving the same God and I loved being in their worship. (I have a video of the service to post when I return, but it is too slow here to upload it all.) I think one of my favorite songs was, loosely translated, "boss me, papa God." How hard is that to say! Caleb always says to me, "I can't wait until I can be my own boss", and it's true. As humans, what other purpose in life do we have then to complete our own goals as we set them for ourselves. We are the center of our own universe. It goes against our nature to say, "okay God, you boss me." Even when we do say that, it's just really uncomfortable when He wants us to do something that we don't want to do. Then you have that nagging feeling that you HAVE to do something or you will be in trouble with God. We can try and compare this to a parent/child relationship, but it still doesn't work. The main difference between God and me in this aspect, is that with my own children, when I am "bossing them" I am just making my best guess on what is best, but God, yeah, he really does know best.

On the walk back from church, we took a short cut and waded through the river. There were quite a few people down there and they got a kick out of all the little white kids splashing around with their clothes off. Before we came here, I had told a few people that when you come here, you understand what it is like to be a celebrity; people always watching and following you. I have learned on this trip however, that it is more like being a zoo animal. You know how you sit at the gorilla cage and just watch for them to do something crazy so that you can all laugh. Or, you bang on the glass to get them all riled up so you can laugh. Yeah, that's us....the gorillas...albino gorillas.

To wrap up our fantastic weekend, two pretty little Dooley girls came to my door with a delivery of what can only be described as the most heavenly cookies I have ever tasted. We each had a cookie (I had two) then put the plate aside to save for later. A few minutes later, Apa, who I wrote about in an earlier blog, came by to pick up my brother for an evening church service. I asked him to come in and he was absolutely thrilled. When he sat down, I offered him a cookie. Now, of course in the states, you wouldn'

t dare pick up a cookie and hand it to someone, you offer them the plate so they can pick their own for sanitary purposes. Well, not here. When I offered him the plate to pick a cookie, he took the whole plate and sat down at the table with it. Now, mind you, there were probably 6 cookies on this plate. In desperation, I risked being rude and said, "just one Apa, these are for us too." Somehow that did not translate though, and he just kept eating the cookies while talking to us about how kind we were and how he could feel God's presence when he is around us. As he got up to leave, I felt a glimmer of hope as two cookies remained on the plate. With a big smile though, he said, "oh, thank you so much, I will just take these with me because we have to go." After they left Ben and I looked at each other and just laughed. All I could say was "I'm sorry I accidently gave away our cookies." He was pretty understanding, especially since I got the recipe and am making him a batch today. :)

Romans 1:20

2010-05-12T16:26:00.000-07:00

This week started with an amazing Mother's Day. I really have such an amazing family. I could not ask for a better husband. He's my best friend and I just really enjoy being around him. Just had to throw that all out there. :)

The day actually didn't start off too hot with Caleb complaining that they were making my breakfast first and declaring that he didn't like "Mother's Day" at all. After a time-out he came around though and we all headed to a resort in the mountains about 2 hours from here for lunch. The first hour, to Mt. Hagen was the typical drive around here: generally okay, but lots of pot holes. the second hour, however, was on a winding dirt road up the mountain with sketchy bridges, washed out road, and drop offs. I was definitely a little scared for my life. Although, I'm finding that pretty much everything you do around here has a little bit of "danger" involved. Judy was our driver though, and she did a fantastic job pointing out drop offs after we had passed them and powering over the "bridges." The resort was absolutely worth the drive. The views were breathtaking and the meal was FABULOUS! We took a little hike up to an orchid garden that was locked, but took some pretty pictures outside of the gate. :)

Being up there reminded me of the episode of

"The Little House on the Prarie" where Carolyn loses her baby boy. Charles climbs up to the top of a mountain in order to ask God "why." I know it's cheesy, but there is something about being up high on a mountain that really does give you the sensation of being closer to God and an overwhelming need to talk to Him. Our talk was about my family's future. I'm just absolutely thankful and amazed at how God has changed my feelings towards the subject.

When Ben first talked to me about coming back to PNG I said "no, period." I didn't want the trouble of taking two young kids and to be honest, it costs A LOT of money. I also NEED my zoo, fast food, cell-phone, and Wal-Mart! We actually had many discussions, but each one ended with me saying no and him saying yes. Ben doesn't pull the "head of the household card" much, but he really felt this trip would be important. I hate to admit it, but he was absolutely right. The farther away I got from our first experience, the more serving in another country seemed to be somebody else's job. When people asked us if we would serve on a foreign mission field I would say, "well, Ben wants to" but I would spend most of my time trying to convince Ben that we should just spend a few months each year on a mission field...definitely not full time. I have realized through this trip though, that if God's plan for us does include full time missions work overseas, then I am actually okay with that. I could even be...gasp...happy about it. In reality, if I treat everywhere we are as my mission field, then there isn't much difference. There really is no greater joy then sharing Christ's AMAZING love with someone...and no greater reward than seeing someone receive it! And as far as safety, a missionary from North Africa who recently came to our church said "wherever God has called me to be is the safest place for me." Anyway, I'm not saying I know God's plan for us, but I really do have a peace about it, whatever it may be.

I'll wrap this up with a funny story from the boys. This morning while I was sweeping I came upon a little gecko (at least I think that's what it was) and Caleb and Thane were both thrilled. Caleb declared the gecko as his friend and was petting him. (Side note: it is AMAZING how long those tails wiggle after they have been detatched. We are talking minutes!) Thane tried to pet him too and accidently killed him. Caleb however, was convinced that the gecko was just sleeping and insisted on taking his friend with us wherever we went. That morning we had been playing "jumping monkeys" which is a game of catapulting monkeys onto a tree. After returning from drying my hair in the bathroom I found, you guess it, Caleb catapulting his little "sleeping friend" across the living room. I need to find out from the other moms here if playing with dead animals is simply part of the mission experience or if my kids are just special.

Tubing

2010-05-07T20:54:00.000-07:00

(Gotta love Jordan trying to lean out of the picture. hahaha)

This morning we walked to what used to be affectionately known as "suicide rock." Many of you may recall the last time we visited PNG and we jumped off this rock into the river. Since we were here last, the rock has completely changed and it's not really safe to jump into anymore. (Yes, even though it was "suicide rock" it really was generally safe.) We then got into the river and "tubed" down. (I use that term lightly because that implies that we actually rode the tube. David definitely spent more time chasing the tube and riding the rapids and rocks.) Ben and I did alright as we each took one turn going down the river so the other could hang out with the kids at the bottom. The missionaries definitely did the best staying afloat though. One of the guys that went with us was Apa. We met him through my brother, David, as he works with him during the day. He is just the sweetest guy. The whole time we were out he kept asking if I was okay and when we got to the river he would position himself between the water and I. I didn't even really think about the significance of this until we got back to the house and talked about it.
Yesterday we made a connection between him and this post that another missionary had written a few weeks ago. I'll post his (Dr. Bennett's) blog here:
________________________________________________

Apa

I didn't know how one life could contain so much heartbreak.

He was born with deformed hands. His left hand has a normal thumb and one finger. His right hand has a thumb and 3 fused fingers. Somehow, he seems to be able to handle things and do basic sorts of work.

Although raised in the church, he had never asked Jesus into his life. He followed a life of crime.

By about 2 years ago, he was married and had 3 children. As the only son in his family, he had inherited a large piece of land, and felt pretty well set.

Then one rainy night, he was walking along a familiar path near a river with his 4 year-old son on his shoulders. He was depending on his knowledge of the route, along with the dim moonlight of an overcast night. What he didn't know, and couldn't see, was that there was a place where the heavy rains had washed a section of the path into the stream. He stepped off into the washed-out section and fell and tumbled into the river. He grasped his son's leg with his left hand, but his arm struck a stone, which loosened his grip. They both plunged into the cold, rain-swollen water. He was disoriented at first--perhaps he also struck his head in the fall. In the swirling water he heard a voice saying, "give your life to Jesus." The words were repeated 2 times. There in the blackness, he gave his life to Jesus. Quickly his mind cleared, and he was able to lunge to the surface of the water.

Apa called his son's name, and thrashed around in the water trying to find his son, but to no avail. It was not until 3 days later that the little boy's body was found, some distance downstream.

Sometime after this, his wife's family came and took her away from Apa. He had not paid any bride price at the time of the marriage, and because he couldn't work for wages (no one would hire him because of his had deformities), and because he didn't have any brothers or other close relatives to help him, he had not been able to pay, and her family had allowed him to postpone payment. But now their patience was at an end. Besides, they accused him of killing his son. If they were serious about this accusation, I don't know why they didn't try to take the other children away from him, but they didn't.

He was recently able to get a job as a security guard at the hospital, and thing were looking up. He assumed that if he could save up some money to pay bride price, he would get his wife back. A friend even offered a generous gift to help with the bride price. But then it became obvious that she did not want to come back to him. There were rumors that she had moved in with another man. Then she went to his employer with false accusations that lead to the loss of his job.

A few weeks ago, it became obvious that some of Apa's cousins were determined to take his land away from him. His coffee gardens were about his only source of income. Because there were many male cousins to divide their family's land, they didn't have much for each one of them. They told Apa that they wanted the land. However, Apa's mother was living on the land, and she had enough influence in the tribe to make it difficult for them.

Last week, Apa's relatives accused his mother of using sorcery to cause the death of another relative. In many deaths, especially ones that aren't understood, it is assumed that sorcery is involved. It is culturally acceptable to take revenge on sorcerers, and the sorcerer's family has no right of counter revenge. It therefore becomes convenient to bring an accusation of sorcery against someone whom one wants to hurt or kill. So the cousins accused Apa's mother of sorcery. They found her in the market, with Apa's 2 children. They attacked her and killed her.

They apparently intended to kill the children as well. The little girl was left on the ground unconscious, and assumed dead. The little boy got lost in the crowd, and was rescued by a female relative, who hid him under her coat. The murderers carried the body of Apa's mother away, and buried her in a location that is unknown to Apa, to deny him of the ability to hold a proper funeral and burial for her. After the murderers left, someone noted that the little girl was still breathing, and she was brought to the hospital, where she recovered. Both children are now safe with other relatives.

Finally, the relatives have burned Apa's house, along with all his possessions. The items he mentioned specifically that were lost were his Bibles.

He came to the house Sunday afternoon, along with Simon and Esther, mutual friends. We had known bits and pieces of his story, but not many of the details. Obviously, most of what has happened to Apa can't be fixed, but we are going to try to help with a few things. Judy had a new Bible which had not yet started "feeling like mine", and she gave it to him. I know someone who can talk to his former boss to see if there is a possibility of getting the job back, and I have shared the story with him. Apa has been given a little cash to help with immediate expenses. Most of all, we are requesting your prayers for him.

AB

Late note: Apa may be getting his job back. His wife, who works at the hospital will probably be reprimanded for lying to the security company and getting him fired, and if he doesn't get the gob back, she will probably be fired. A tiny shred of justice in this painful situation.

_________________________________________________________

I was just amazed when I read this story. I wouldn't have known any of this without reading Dr. Bennett's blog. It is such a contrast from our lives in the states isn't it? We can't sell our home and we ask, where is God? We lose a relative to an illness and we wonder why God has abandoned us. Anytime we are just a little inconvenienced in life we beg God to make it better.
God, forgive us for not trusting You more. Forgive us for our pettiness. Teach us how to be content no matter our circumstance because if we know You, our life is truly in Your hands! Thank you for the hope that we have in You!

Sharing

2010-05-05T21:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it is amazing how fast God can answer prayers. Last night Ben and I were talking about Caleb and how he has problems with sharing and empathy. I was a little stressed out about it and then realized I should just pray about it and ask God to help me teach him these things. I think it's funny that I don't think to pray about things until I am my wit's end, but maybe that is a blessing because when He answers I know it is from Him.
Anyway, this morning I went with Jill Riggins, her boys, and Judy Bennett to pass out some baby blankets at the hospital. When we got to the storeroom there was a large bin of toys that had been donated to the hospital as well. Immediately mine and Jill's boys started playing with the toys. When we were ready to go hand them out I braced myself for a fight with Caleb about giving these away. God is so good though. Jill told the boys about how we would be handing these out to the children in the hospital who were sick and Judy told them that we can give them the toys and tell them that Jesus loves them. When we got to the ward, the boys were so excited to give the toys out and Caleb would look at each child we were about to go to and try and pick out something especially for them. Just thinking about it here makes me cry. Just the day before Caleb was fighting with me about sharing one of 10 cars with his little brother and here he was, knowing that none of these were for him, happy as a clam to be giving them out! Thane, of course, followed his big brother's lead and was bringing toys to the children as well.

Christianity is about losing yourself, and abandoning your own desires for God's will. It's about being generous with everything you have in order that you may show Christ's love to someone who needs it. I have had so much trouble teaching that to Caleb at home where he is immersed in a materialistic culture of putting yourself first. He has commercials screaming at him that he NEEDS this toy or that and once he get's it, it is his and his alone. I don't know why we are able to be here, but I'm so thankful for this opportunity for my family. God is so good and it is such a joy to be able to serve Him!!!

To Town

2010-05-05T20:27:00.000-07:00

It's been a couple of days since I posted, so I will go back to Tuesday. Dr. Erin and I went into town for my big shopping trip. Generally, the missionaries will go about once a month and get enough supplies/food to last that long. Last time we were in PNG I posted about how horrible these town experiences were, but we actually had a great time! Mainly this was because my brother stayed back at the house with the kids so I could just concentrate on getting what I needed. The stores were the same as I remembered them. Most of the goods there are brought in from Australia so it varies trip to trip what they will have. The people also generally left me alone while I shopped. They were always watching, but not following and grabbing like they did when I had a child with me. Anyway, it was really nice and not stressful at all! There are, of course, some major differences from stores in the states. For one, you have to ignore the beetles and roaches crawling around and the dirt all over most things. I couldn't believe how filthy my hands were after shopping. I have to admit it did make me squirm a little when I saw the cockroach in the raw meat cooler. I decided though that I will cook all of it anyway so it's no big deal. Erin was very helpful as well and would gently say "no, you don't want that" if I picked up something "dangerous" :). On the way home, we stopped at a gas station where people would come up to the windows and try to sell random things like sandwiches and eggs. I really thought that was funny.
It takes about an hour to get into town and I really enjoyed chatting with Dr. Erin during the ride. She told me about some miracles that she has seen at the hospital and some other stories of the area. One miracle being a child that was hit head on by a vehicle but was able to leave the hospital a week and a half later by God's grace. I believe she wrote about it in her blog so you can check it out there. http://erininpng.blogspot.com/
Last time we were here our family would take walks down to the river. I learned from Erin that there have been tensions in that area because of the death of an important man. Many people believe that when someone dies it is because of witchcraft. They will then try to punish whoever they believe is responsible. I guess when this man died they started torturing people in his own extended family. It's really sad. One of the other missionaries told me that there have been some sketchy things happening around the river with drug and alcohol use and even a child rape victim in the last few weeks. Please pray for these people, that they would come to know the Lord.
"He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit."
Ephesians 2:17
When we returned home, I was pleased to see that my children were still alive. Uncle David had taken them on a walk and given them a nap. It did make me laugh when we went to change Thane and his diaper was on backwards...but I think we got off fine if that is the worst that happened. :)

Dung beetles

2010-05-03T12:48:00.000-07:00

Day 1: I got a call from one of my missionary friends asking if I would like to take a walk this morning. We decided to walk down by the hospital and to the canteen where we got some biscuits and soda. We then sat at the main circle drive and chatted while the kids played. Now if you know Caleb, you know that he has one level for his voice: super loud. He came running over to Jill and I yelling, "mama, dung beetles!" We were engaged in a conversation so I told him to go find more bugs. Later, as we were getting ready to leave we walked over to see exactly what the kids were doing. There, lined up on the cement, were 5 dead beetles...one decapitated. Caleb explained to me who they were and that one was mad because the others had cut off his head. He then led me to another area where they had "built a home for the beetles", and sure enough, there a few more dead beetles were positioned on a nice bed of straw.
Now, two days ago I frantically went through Target looking for a few cheap toys to take for the children. We were already in Chicago and I had forgotten to pack ANY for our two month journey. I had thoughts of my poor children sitting in an empty little house with no toys, bored to death. If i had only known... Maybe I will bring some of these for souveneirs. Your kids will love them...and I'm pretty sure they won't get sick as long as they don't eat them.

Here in PNG

2010-05-03T12:44:00.000-07:00

We are here, we are here, we are here! It was quite an adventure getting to this point, but after 40 hours of traveling, we are here! I sat down on our last flight of the journey, a one hour jump from Port Moresby to Mt. Hagen, and just cried! I will spare you the details, but it was seriously the longest 32 hours of my life! I was puked on, peed on, cried on, slept on, and wondering why I didn’t just send Ben alone, but after being here only one evening I can say the trip was worth it! It is so nice to see our friends again!
The most amazing people that I have always encountered, home or abroad, are the ones allowing Christ to shine through them. That’s why it is so wonderful here. God’s presence radiates from so many people around you and God is good, all the time!

Spring Fever

2010-03-10T06:45:00.000-08:00

So, after 53,000 days of snow, we finally have rain washing it away. I am so excited to see grass, and I am even more excited that I don't have a mound of snow at the end of my driveway blocking my view of any traffic, kids, dogs, etc. that may be coming down the road. I don't think I have hit anything, but I guess the melting snow will reveal that in time.
I don't know when Spring officially starts, but it has started in my house. I refuse to put a coat on myself or my children and for the first time ever, I decided to "Spring Clean". I actually pulled the couches out, cleaned window sills, and yes, as some of you know, finally took down my Christmas tree. I actually think it was a good thing to wait so long. (March 6 to be exact) How many of you were sad after Christmas to take down your tree? Sad that the season was over, and that it was back to business as usual? Yeah, not me. I was so tired of that dang tree that I probably would have been happy to just burn it. (I don't know if that is legal though- kind of like burning the American flag? Burning a symbol of the nativity like that- wait- that's not in the nativity! What the heck is the tree for anyway?)
Along with Spring cleaning also comes really getting those wood floors nice and shiny. My cleaner of choice: Pledge furniture spray. Now, I honestly didn't know that Pledge wasn't for floors until I recently told some friends and got some crazy looks. For goodness' sake, it says for wood surfaces on the can. Wood floors are the epitome of wood surfaces, am I right? Anyway, I will keep you updated on the "slip and fall count". So far we are at 4. (HAHAHAHA make that 5- Thane actually wiped out as I was typing this.)
In honor of Spring (and a less demanding schedule for Ben) Ben and I have decided to take some ballroom dancing lessons. We had our first one on Monday and it was an absolute blast... that is until Ben got paged. When he returned, we assumed our dancing positions and he says "that was just to pronounce someone dead." What a mood killer. We definitely should have scheduled these on a night he wasn't on call.
Finally, Spring means that our trip to Papua New Guinea is that much closer. I'm really excited to see all of the missionaries there again. They are such amazing people and are such great examples for Ben and I. Also on that note I have to give a shout out to God for the AMAZING things I have had the privilege of witnessing this past year. In the words of Sarah Groves:
"I don't claim to have found the Truth, but I KNOW it has found me."
(Okay, make the count 6. Thane slid and crashed again!)

Let's Pray!!

2009-12-24T06:26:00.000-08:00

Let's remember our Christian brothers and sisters in prayer!!!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091224/ap_on_re_as/as_pakistan_christmas_of_fear

Help carry each other's burdens. In this way you will follow Christ's teachings. Galatians 6:2

Xmas or Christmas?

2009-12-24T05:44:00.001-08:00

Christmas is tomorrow. It's been such a crazy month and it seems like it came so fast this year. I have faithfully listened to Christmas music EVERY SINGLE DAY since the monday before Thanksgiving (That's as early as it was on the radio) and I am so excited that I discovered Pandora online radio where I can continue to play Christmas music as long as I feel like it. :)

On the Christmas station this year they had a radio-thon for the Salvation Army's adopt a family. It was interesting hearing the DJ's try to "sell" the idea. They kept playing clips of people telling their stories and then they would follow up with "no child should go without Christmas." Now don't get me wrong, I'm not against giving and helping another family.... it just made me think about how we view Christmas as children. If we are not careful it can be just another way to beat down self esteem. As a child, Santa would always bring my neighbor Power Wheels vehicles, kitchen sets, and expensive clothes. I always wondered why Santa didn't like me as much. Why did I only get a coat, or a gift with a clearance price tag on it? (It makes me laugh now to think about the time my mother told me that Santa must have drank too much egg nog because he went down the wrong chimney with our Power Wheels.) What does it mean to "go without Christmas"?

Lots of toys, a little bit of toys, no toys...the only way to "go without Christmas" is to not have Christ in your life. There are so many unfathomable gifts he brings us that way overshadow the tickle me elmo or Playstation 9. Because of Him I have hope. Because of him I have had peace in times of trial. He gives me Joy. He gives me burdens for other people...reminding me that I am part of a body, intended to encourage and help. Come to think of it- he gives me absolutely EVERYTHING I need. Their are no clearance price tags on those suckers.

My little magician

2009-09-15T13:36:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, I'm a little freaked out right now. After dropping Caleb off at preschool this morning, I decided to take Thane to the zoo for some "mommy time". It was all going well, and Thane was enjoying moving at is own pace instead of Caleb's. This gave him time to just stop and enjoy the animals. All of this one on one attention evidently empowered him...I mean, he really doesn't get much. When we were in the gorilla house something amazing happened. He started to levitate. The gorilla watched in amazement. I was shocked and was barely able to contain myself long enough to grab the phone camera. I think the picture speaks for itself. As his mother, I can only hope he uses this power for good.

RIP Molly the Malibu

2009-08-27T08:10:00.001-07:00

Molly Malibu 1997-2009

Molly the Malibu of Omaha Nebraska died on August 6, 2009 in another case of auto on auto crime. She was only 12 years old. Molly was made a part of my family after sitting on a car lot for months. The salesman couldn't get rid of her because she was purple. I saw something special in her though.

She got around 30 mpg and had four new tires. Her tank was completely full of gas and she had recently been cleaned out. She had purple nail polish on her hood to cover rust spots and a bumper that flapped freely in the wind. Molly is survived by millions of siblings, none of whom bothered to show for the funeral except one that was being serviced next to her.

Molly's life was taken by a Black Escalade with a license plate. The letters and numbers on that license plate are unknown...but would have greatly aided in it's identification.

Memorials may be made by way of remembering all of the good times that were had in Molly.

RIP Molly the Malibu. I will never forget you.

The three year old mind

2009-08-27T07:40:00.000-07:00

So, I have decided lately that I am really going to miss Caleb as a three year old. I'm looking forward to having Thane at that point though. The things he comes up with are hilarious. Of course I have examples :)...

"Mama, when I was about your age, then I really LOVED chocolate"

(After explaining to Caleb that milk comes from cows.) "HA! (he goes on as he's laughing) Does the cow put it in a bottle and then walk off with it to the grocery store?"

Ben: "Caleb, mommy wants you to be smarter than me."

Caleb: "No! I don't want to be as smart as you! I want to be as smart as myself!"

Me: "Caleb, we really need to cut your hair"

Caleb: "Why"

Me: "Because it's getting long."

Caleb: "That's because I'm growing up. I think I'm going to be a girl."

Me: "Oh really?"

Caleb: "Yeah, I'm going to be a mommy when I grow up. That's why my hair is

getting long."

I've been pretty sleep deprived lately with Thane waking up every few hours and then up for the day by 7. There are times when I want to bang my head against the wall....and there are times when I actually HAVE banged my head against the wall. (Don't do it, it doesn't help anything. In fact, the situation stays the same except you add a headache.)

To say that I wouldn't trade it for anything would probably be a lie because there are definitely some scenarios I would trade for. (Thane is actually crying in his bedroom fighting his nap as I type this.) However, these little boys that God has entrusted me with fill my life with so much joy compared to the frustration. Now, we'll see how this balance changes as they grow. :)

I'll show you bored!

2009-07-30T20:28:00.000-07:00

So, it's amazing how easy it is to pinpoint where new behaviors come from when you stay at home with your child and they have limited interaction with the outside world. Lately Caleb learned from two, a bit older, children the term "I'm bored." I don't know why, but this particular term makes me so incredibly mad! Bored? Really?
Three different times today he used the phrase and each time I calmly explained to him that he wasn't bored. The final time he said it was in Thane's room, while actually playing with his toys. It was then that I lost my temper. "Caleb, if you say that one more time, I am going to take away all of your toys and show you what being bored really is!"

I smile now, but the more I think about it, the more I realize how much I do the same thing. How many times does God look down at me and want to say, "Are you kidding me? You keep groaning and I'll really give you something to complain about."
It is so easy to jump on the bandwagon of discontentment. And once there, it is even easier to drag others into the trap of negativity with us...as if company will improve things.
I don't want to be that person. I am supposed to be living a life that is "worthy of the calling" of Jesus Christ.
I have a ways to go.
He is helping me though...and that is exciting to me!

Caleb did end up having some toys taken away, but he learned quickly after that. Later in the afternoon I walked downstairs to check on him where he was playing with his trains. Right as I came into the room he said emphatically, "mommy, I'm playing with my trains and I'm not bored at all!"
Caleb is a smart boy. I hope I can learn as fast as him.

On a different, but related note, I've been reading the Message bible lately. I love how Eugene Peterson has paraphrased the bible into today's language. It's been a nice study guide and conversation starter for Ben and I. God is showing me some new truths and insights and I have to say that I am so thankful to have that relationship. I'm also seeing how much grace I need in certain areas of my life.
Every once and awhile I guess you just need to say things..I mean type things...like that out loud.

Supermom!

2009-06-09T20:07:00.000-07:00

So I went on a date tonight. It wasn't with Ben...he was home asleep on the couch...it was with Caleb- and let me tell you- it was so much fun! It started because we ran out of diapers. I needed to run to the store and had just put Thane to bed. Ben was exhausted from a busy call night so I decided to take Caleb with me. As we are leaving the house in daddy's truck (since he can sit up front) he looked over at me and said, "mommy, I love you and I like going places with you." Boy that was the right thing to say. Since it was only 7:45 and still light out, I decided to take a detour to the park so we could just spend some time together. I'm so glad we did.
We ran up and down the ramps, climbed up climbing walls, dove down slides then ran back up them, played house, slayed dragons (as super mom and super Caleb), fought monsters, and saved the world...all in 40 minutes! When we were exhausted we sat on one of the bridges and he looked over at me with those beautiful eyes and said "so, how was your day, super mom?"
Ha, super mom. He didn't know that I burnt his egg and had to cut off all of the edges or that his teeth weren't brushed and his shirt was dirty. He evidently had forgotten about the scoldings, tears, and tantrums of the day- one of which had left a big gash on his chin as he threw himself onto the floor hitting the toilet along the way. He didn't know my irritation that the house wasn't clean and the dishes were dirty. He didn't realize that we were late for the playgroup picnic earlier in the day because I waited until the last second to make our dish to share or that I had disappeared downstairs for a nap as soon as was possible because I was just simply DONE! He didn't know any of that. All he cared about was me taking the time to play with him. How was my day? "Great", I said...and I completely meant it...because taking time to play with him had made it great! Nothing else mattered. All of the rushing, preparing, and frustration of the day was meaningless. It had all passed and we were both alive....and just loving being with each other.
At this point I was feeling pretty good about myself. I was so glad I had stopped at the park. But, of course, he brought me back to reality. As we were leaving I told Caleb that I would get him a treat at the store because I was "the best mom in the world!"
"I don't think that's true, mom" he replied. hahaha

April showers bring May flowers

2009-05-08T21:21:00.000-07:00

So, let's just be honest here. April was an absolutely sucky month around here. Hence the complete lack of blogs. Yet like bad gas, it passed.
So here we are, May has arrived...and it is infinitely less sucky.
First- Ben is done at the black hole, a.k.a. Children's hospital. It is common knowledge that residents just disappear there...and that was truly the case. Over the entire month Ben averaged over 80 hours a week. Then he came home and slept.
Second- Caleb has his tonsils out and is completely recovered. He had obstructive sleep apnea due to his GINORMOUS tonsils. Since the surgery he is actually sleeping at night and is way more pleasant in the morning! (Side note to any medical personnel who may be reading: when patients come to the office for a tonsils and adenoids surgery consult, don't say "are you here for a T and A consult?" It's just weird)
Third- It's actually consistently warm out. Now, since we are in Nebraska, May is basically a constant tornado watch- but at least we get to play outside in between sirens!
Fourth- I went to the dentist and I still have NO CAVITIES!! However, I did decide to start brushing at night and flossing...due to the gum disease and all. (Did you guys know that if you floss every day, your gums don't bleed after about a week? I had no idea- so with me bleeding all over the place I probably looked like an idiot when I lied and told the dentist that I did floss.)
Fifth- I actually had four legitimate reasons why May is great!

I'll end with a funny Caleb story:
Caleb was helping me make sandwiches for a picnic and we were talking about the differences between lunch meats. I said that bologna comes from pigs to which he replied “pigs make bologna?” I said, “No, bologna comes from pigs...from their belly”. To which he replied “oh, you mean where the coin slot is?”

How's your day?

2009-04-03T07:01:00.001-07:00

At the end of the day, my husband comes home and asks "How was your day, honey?". "Let me see", I reply, then I think to my self. "He's had a long day- should I tell him about Caleb grinding an apple filled cereal bar into the sofa, or the major tantrum that left Asian noodles all over the kitchen floors, or the ladies that tried to talk to me about everything I was doing wrong".

"Well", I finally answer, "It was okay...uh....Caleb said the funniest thing as he was getting out of time out...."

The scenario made me wonder- how do I gauge a day? Is it by the number of times Caleb listens or doesn't listen? Is it by the number of times Caleb, Thane, or I cry? Is it by the the amount of toys or food scattered on the ground? I have come to decide that I can gauge a day based on the amount of SOS calls made to God. Usually it's one or two, but yesterday....yesterday I didn't hang up. It was a speakerphone kind of day.

Division and Spelling

2009-02-13T18:14:00.001-08:00

Caleb read his first word today. He sounded it out C - A - T. We have been working on letter sounds for awhile, and he is really good at sounding out the first letter of any word and telling you what it is, but I had no idea he was ready to actually start sounding out entire words! He also did a simple division problem with Ben. We had made 6 muffins and Ben and Caleb were deciding how many each person could have. Ben asked "how many people are there that eat muffins?" "Three", Caleb replied. Then Ben asked him how many each person would get. Caleb looked at the muffins and counted "one two three, one two three" and then answered Ben's question with "two!". Yeah, pretty good for a three year old.

In other news, well, there really isn't any other news. I solely wrote this blog to talk about how smart my kid is...but hey....It's my blog.

Just stuff...

2009-01-21T19:06:00.000-08:00

So, this has been a pretty tough few months around here. Ben is working inpatient services and he is just plain busy. He's also just plain exhausted. He works long hours and then has to take some calls at night. With most people who have busy schedules, they can at least look forward to the weekend but poor Ben doesn't even have that. The good news is that this will all be over in about a week! We can't wait!! Long hours for Ben means long hours for me as well. I have never felt more sympathy for single mothers! I don't know how they do it. It seems like every time I am about to reach my limit, though, Caleb will say or do something that reminds me why I couldn't be without my children! Case in point, today, when I was honestly at my witt's end, Caleb says out of the blue, "Mommy, I love you!" He then, of course, proceeded to tell me that I was grouchy. Ouch. At least he loves me in spite of that. :)

On a completely different note, Caleb is just growing up so much! Lately he has wanted to go to the bathroom all by himself. All I can say is thank goodness for hardwood floors! He is just barely tall enough to reach over the rim of the toilet. His newest thing, thanks to his dad I might add, is that he wants to "aim" it. It is fine that Ben has encouraged him to "aim", but he didn't really focus on the definition of the word. Caleb thinks it means to put his finger on his little tallywacker and spin it in circles. I don't know where he learned this, but there is only one other potty trained tallywacker in the house.... that's all I'm sayin'. (Now that I think about it, maybe this is from his "name-writing in the snow lessons." Either way, I'm not gonna deal with it. I'll just keep wiping up the floor until Ben helps him perfect this.)

On another nother note... I have the most amazing husband. He does the most thoughtful things and even when he is completely exhausted he will take time for Caleb, Thane, and I. Yeah, definitely the greatest guy ever!

Bad Mickey

2009-01-13T21:02:00.000-08:00

I have told this story to my sister, and she got a kick out of it. I guess I was too close to the situation to see it as really funny until after the fact. So, since Heather enjoyed it and how I handled things, I guess I will share...

I had a friend over the other day and she brought her two year old son. He was really shy so we were trying to give him toys to get him to start playing. Caleb, however, didn't feel like our toy selections were acceptable. In fact, he didn't think ANY toy choice was good. Every time we would give the child a toy, Caleb would grab it from him and say that he "was about to play with that." Of course I didn't allow him to get away with this. In fact, every time he took something I would make him give it back, have him sit in time out to think, then apologize afterwards.
I believe we repeated this cycle about four times, and I was completely frustrated and embarrassed with his behavior.
After timeout number four, Caleb dissappeared into his room, then re-emerged with a stuffed Mickey doll. This happened to coincide with us handing the little boy Caleb's play staple gun. I saw the look in Caleb's eyes, and felt the frustration build. Before I could stop him, he had used Mickey's arms to grab the gun. I said the usual, "Caleb, give that back to him now", to which he replies, "I didn't do it, Mickey did it." Clever.
"Fine," I huffed back, "Mickey, you have until the count of three to give it back."
He didn't even flinch as I concluded my count. Now that was a first! Caleb is always quick to act once the counting starts. I felt my blood boil as I firmly stated "Caleb, go to time out, NOW!"
"But mom," he replies, "I didn't do it, Mickey did it."
Now, I am a firm believer in consistency, and as much as this whole time out thing was seemingly not working, I was determined to stick with it. If you know Caleb at all, however, you know that he has an extremely vivid imagination...and he might have even really believed that Mickey was at fault. I felt the other mom's eyes on me. What was I to do?

I'll tell you what I did. I let Caleb put Mickey in time out. I then told him that he needed to sit with Mickey and talk to him about his behavior and why it wasn't nice to take things from other children. Caleb completely agreed that Mickey needed a talkin' to.
He put Mickey on the couch, kneeled down by him and said "now Mickey, I know you are frustrated, but it is not nice to take things from other children. You have to share." He then whispered a few things to him. I'm not sure what, but probably some words of sympathy or encouragement. After two minutes I let Mickey out of time out. He didn't do it again.

So, there are many times as a mom that you just wonder how you are doing. There is no boss to offer yearly reviews, no days recorded for quality assurance, or even anyone over three to offer constructive criticism because no one is there all day to witnesses your interactions. While it's true that it's wonderful not to deal with the negative aspects of such things, sometimes you just need a pat on the back, or someone to tell you that you aren't a complete imbecile. So, thanks, Heather, for complimenting me on my parenting "skillz". Just like a good review from the boss, it is very encouraging....especially when you hit time out number 20 for the day.

Prayer

2009-01-08T17:49:00.000-08:00

We had finished reading our bedtime stories, had our snack, and were laying down to go to bed when Caleb gasped. "Mom, we forgot to pray". Now, of course we would have prayed within the next minute if given the chance, but there was no need to correct him. "Okay Caleb", I replied, "would you like me to pray?" "No, mom," he answered, "I'll do it. Can I bow?" I didn't really know what he meant by this, but decided I would like to find out. "Of course you can Caleb." With that, he walked to the middle of his bedroom, closed his eyes, folded his hands, and bowed with his face to the ground. Tears immediately came to my eyes as I saw him unknowingly humble himself in such a manner before his creator. "Dear Lord," he started, "thank you for this day. Please help daddy as he takes care of patients at the hospital because he can't do it on his own. Please help me to be kind to my cousins and help me to share. In Jesus name I pray all of these things. Amen." Quite the complex prayer for such a little boy. Ben was at the hospital on call this particular evening, but I told him the next day about Caleb's prayer and prayer posture. I wondered if Ben had taught him to "bow". He hadn't, but when I looked in Caleb's children's bible I saw that he had learned it from a picture of King David bowing before God. As he finished his little talk with God, I felt so incredibly proud of him. He is learning some important behaviors at a young age: to be humble, to rely on God to guide us daily in what we do, and to desire to be constantly growing in order to show Christ's love to others.
What a precious thing to be able to see the truly blind and innocent faith of a child.

Riding in cars with boys.

2008-12-17T14:53:00.000-08:00

I'll just start by saying that life in the Kumor household is absolutely hillarious. There is not a day that goes by that I'm not busting out laughing or trying not to laugh! I feel so blessed to have such an amazing husband that doesn't take himself too seriously. Lately I am just completely loving the "father-son" talks. These include:
-a discussion of the anus and it's role in food excretion from the body.
-a lively discussion on all of the names for the man's "special part". (Which ended with them focusing on "tally wacker" as a good label.)
- Ben (excitedly, I might add) teaching Caleb the art of writing his name with urine in the snow.
- but most of all, I love that Ben is teaching Caleb that I am their "special lady". It's just so sweet, and makes being the only one on the girls team totally worth it!

Caleb is such a little sponge right now. It's amazing how much he is learning and retaining! I am loving his literal interpretation of everything though. Yesterday, Ben was bundling Caleb up to play in the snow and Caleb couldn't find his gloves. So, Ben says, "It's ok Caleb, I'll look for you". To which Caleb responds, "daddy, I'm right here!".
That reminded me of an interaction I had with him recently. I was taking him to the bathroom and he said "mommy, my pee is really yellow". I replied, "yeah, that means you need to drink more", to which he responded, "drink more pee pee?". LOVE IT!

As you can see, the littlest Kumor is learning from his father and brother as well. He always gives me this look like "are you kidding me mom" and I was fortunate enough to get it on camera. I know what you are thinking, he's too young to be mischevious- well, just check my earlier blog for my response to that. I have a feeling I am going to have an ornry bunch on my hands....and I'm gonna love every minute of it!

Check out Caleb's new video... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SpxsV0SGq8

Giving Thanks for Thanksgiving

2008-11-30T18:12:00.001-08:00

So, I was just thinking that I am really thankful for Thanksgiving. We had a great time with our dear friends, the Huebners, and Ben had the whole weekend off!! This year the Kumor family get-together was in a local elementary school gym. It was an absolute blast. Now, there was a time, not too long ago, where a "Kumor family gathering" brought on nausea and fear. I think it is a normal reaction for anyone whose significant other comes from a family with 7 children. That's a lot of people to win approval from! Five years later though, I have come to appreciate each of my in-laws and truly love to be around them! These Kumors are pretty cool people. Where else, at a family gathering, would you see nerf arrows being shot in every direction, footballs flying over your head, and husband and wife beating the tar out of each other with inflatable boxing gloves. Maybe more places than I think, but I am awfully thankful to be a part of a family- both on Ben's side and my own- that can just relax and have fun like that! (Christmas will be with my family at an indoor waterpark...how cool is that!)
This year Grandma Kumor came out from North Platte. She grabbed up Thane shortly after we got there and held him until we were ready to walk out the door. I think one of the coolest things as a mom has been seeing my children embraced into a family and loved dearly by their aunts, uncles, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. It was definitely a happy Thanksgiving.

Life with baby...

2008-11-22T20:48:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been a few weeks since I blogged, and I don't really know if I have anything to say- but I thought I would just start writing and see what brilliance my mind comes up with. The last blog was about labor, so I guess I will take it from there. Life with two children has been way better than I expected. I can be honest now and say that I expected to be screaming into pillows, pulling out hair, dealing with sibling rivalry, etc. Yet, none of the above has occurred. Things have been relatively quiet and pretty manageable. Thane is turning out to definitely be his daddy's boy though. He has a few traits that are unmistakeably Ben.

1) To say that he is gassy is an understatement. This kid has an astounding amount of gas and the volume level when it is released would make a grown man blush. There are times at night when I am getting ready to change him that I want to look around the room for the camera. It honestly sounds like there is a fart machine and I am on some prank television show.

2) He plots on me! This child only likes to urinate or defecate when his diaper is off. Sometimes I will try to trick him by opening his diaper and then closing it really fast when he starts to pee. The little booger will hold it though - even if I keep it closed for a minute or two- and will start again as soon as I think it is safe to remove it resulting in urine on my clothes, his clothes, the walls, etc. Now I have raised a boy, so yes, I did kind of expect this. Thane, however, also has the amazing ability (because of his powerful gas release) to produce projectile pooh. I first learned of this super power in the middle of the night- but I probably don't need to go into details here. I'm sure whatever you are picturing will suffice.

3) He only cries over food. (I'm not sure which one I should give an example here for- Ben or Thane.)

4) His big blue eyes melt my heart. (a collective awww was heard.)

"Labor: to roll or pitch heavily, as a ship."

2008-11-06T12:29:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been awhile since I blogged and since both boys are sleeping I thought I would attempt to catch everyone up on the last weeks' happenings. Obviously, the labor was a success. Success is pretty easy with labor though because it can count as that by simply producing a baby. That being said, there were other things that I will not count as a success...mainly that little thing known as an epidural. Yeah, well, I'm getting ahead of myself there so I'll just start at the beginning. We checked into the hospital at about 7:30 am and were the third couple in line at the desk of people coming to be induced. I, of course, took this as a challenge and told Ben that I was determined to have my baby first! By 8:15 I was in bed, IV started and ready for action. When she strapped me up we realized that I was already having contractions- about 3 minutes apart. I felt them, of course, but had no idea that these were not even a fraction of what I would feel within the hour! At 8:30, my doctor came through and checked me. He leaned to the nurse and said, "she is about 5cm, why don't you hand me the hook and we'll break the water."

The nurse then said she would get anesthesia to come asap. Things started to pick up immediately and I started having some strong contractions. The picture to the right was probably taken at about 9 am and I believe I was using my "sprinkler breathing method" to overcome until anesthesia arrived. (For all of my pregnant friends- I should show you how to do this. I made it up my self and it is pretty awsome...and comic relief for the nurses.) By about 9:30 I was hunched over ready to receive my epidural. Of course he said the infamous "okay, here comes the bee sting"...followed by another.."okay, another bee sting"...followed by ANOTHER "okay, let's try this again, here's the bee sting". DANG TEACHING HOSPITALS! I should have known when two people came in and the woman instructed the man to "stay calm and remember everything I have taught you." (Just kidding, but she might as well have said that!) Meanwhile, I am learning what true contractions are. Yeah, NEVER FELT ANYTHING LIKE IT BEFORE!!!! That's right, I admit it. I used to be all defensive when people said things like "oh, you only had to push out a 3 pounder" or "you had the epidural before contractions even started." Even Ben's, "I've taken dumps bigger than 3 pounds." Yeah-I'm not defensive anymore. I had no clue what true labor pain was.

Anyway, that wouldn't have been so bad if it were the end of the story. I just kept telling myself, "the sticks aren't that bad- and there will be relief at the end of this". Ohhhh if I only knew. About 30 minutes later I was laying on my back with my legs and butt completely dead to me- but my abdomen was sharp as a tack....you know- the part of your body where all of the contractions are! So here I am, having contractions, but I couldn't shift to try and help the pain. I was grabbing the side railing of the bed trying to pull my body to one side or another to find some relief. I believe I kept my humor for about an hour- I'll have to check with Ben on that. (I have to admit, it was fun in between contractions to smack my butt because I couldn't feel a thing!) Anesthesia stayed in the room for about 2 hours trying to get things to work. At 11:30 though the nurse got the doctor in to check me because she thought I was ready to have the baby- and sure enough I had fully dilated in that time. At about 11:40 the docs were suited up and asked me to turn on my back to get ready to push. LO AND BEHOLD- what happens? The freakin epidural kicks in. Now I can't really feel the contractions that are supposed to signal when I will push. Go figure. :) Nathaniel Bruce Kumor was born at noon.

Okay, all that said, I may sound upset, but it is really just for humor's sake. Yes it was the worst pain I have ever felt in my life, but I just kept telling myself- "women do this all the time!" Why? I have no idea!...but they still do it. Everything went really quickly though and a couple hours of pain was completely worth it when they placed my baby on my chest immediately after he came out! Of course, he looked like a giant to me and at that moment I truly knew that Nathaniel and the whole pregnancy and labor experience was our "gift from God". I can't express how blessed we felt to have been able to experience things the way they are supposed to be! Nathaniel and me were able to go home from the hospital together two days later. Praise God!

Since then, things have been absolutely wonderful!! I LOVE having two boys at home- and Caleb loves his little brother! He is very protective of him as well. Whenever we have gone out to church or the doctor's office and people try to look at him, Caleb will pull down the shade so no one can see him. He loves holding him and is very gentle and attentive. Probably too attentive, but Thane doesn't seem to mind.

Oh yeah, I asked the nurse after I delievered. I was the first of the three couples to have my baby! Boo ya!

The day has arrived

2008-10-23T19:38:00.001-07:00

Okay, so not today...but tomorrow. After 39 weeks of drama, I am being induced. Ben is absolutely thrilled but I have to admit I am a little nervous. I know I have been through this before, but there is something about expelling a human from my body that just seems unnatural/alienesque.

Maybe it is nerves, but I have nothing funny/insightful to say tonight. I do have to
state the obvious though. God is so good. We are so blessed and thankful to have made it this far.

I really don't know where he comes up with this stuff!

2008-10-11T18:57:00.000-07:00

So, operation (insert Mike Myers voice) "Get out of my belly" has officially begun. I'm 37 weeks and 2 days which means Thane has fully cooked. No doughy baby this time. Inserted toothpick, came out clean. The only problem is that now that I am off of bed rest and running circles Nathaniel has decided he likes it in there. Go figure.

Now, I realize that I aspired to be 40 weeks and miserable...but what I didn't realize is that I would be able to experience the miserable starting at 36 weeks. So, okay, have your laughs, keep praying that he stays in there as many have informed me they are doing- but know that I am not just gonna lay there and take it. :)

Today we went to the zoo and had a blast. I just love seeing things through Caleb's eyes. He was so excited today that the Tiger had feet, a head, and eyes JUST LIKE HIM! Then tonight we went grocery shopping at Wal-Mart. As we were pulling into the parking lot, Caleb informed us that he didn't want to walk with us. Ben asked "well, who do you want to walk with". Caleb replied that he wanted to walk with a naked lady. (We both of course bust out laughing- which was Caleb's original intent.) Ben then replies that if he can find a naked lady in Wal-Mart, then he is welcome to walk with her. I told him that was silly and people don't go to stores without clothes on so he couldn't walk with a naked lady. He then became upset and said that "daddy said I could". Then what does Ben do? Naturally he agrees with Caleb again and repeats that if he could find a naked lady in Wal-Mart then he could walk with her. I think we might have a discussion after Caleb goes to bed tonight. What if there really were a naked woman walking around in Wal-Mart. I don't think I would want my child walking with her. I guess I just don't know where Ben stands on this issue. Maybe this warrants another poll.

False alarms and bedtime

2008-10-06T19:21:00.000-07:00

Well, three more days and I am considered full term. What can I say except I never would have believed it 9 weeks ago! I'm so thankful and truly blessed to have such a great support system. With all of my heart, thank you all for your prayers! I can't wait to bring home my giant baby!! Woohoo.

As you can see, Nathaniel's room is completely ready now. Complete with the typical name above the bed...just so if he wakes up confused he knows who he is. (It always works for me in my room.)

So, like I said in the title, this weekend we have had another false alarm. I think I have had every nurse on the OB floor at one time or another. We are all BFFs. It's funny because each time I go back, they give me a later marker to look for. At first it was, "call us when you have more than 6 contractions an hour." Then it went to "call us if they are every 5 minutes and it starts to go into your lower back." Next, which is why I went in last night, "call when they are every 3-5 minutes apart". (So, of course we went in because for three hours they were consistently less than 5 minutes apart.) Yet after a jog around the hospital and some tackle football my cervix didn't change. My instruction now is to come in if I hear crying coming from between my legs.

(To my dear friend Sheila who is dealing with something similar, I think we need to start an "irritable uterus" club as we have both been diagnosed with the same lovely condition.)

On another note, I am learning the joys of having a three year old. (No, Caleb isn't three yet, but I don't think he knows it.) The budding autonomy is a beautiful thing...except when it clashes with my desire to accomplish ANYTHING! One major discovery is that he can accomplish what he wants by making me laugh. I don't know how he comes up with the things he does. Case in point- our bedtime fiasco:

C: "Mom, I have to tell you something very important."

M: "Caleb, tell me in the morning, it is time for bed. Goodnight."

C: "Mom, it is very important."

M: Walks into room "Yes, Caleb?"

C "Mom, I need to relax in my easy chair and read the sports section."

M: (Keeping a straight face to the best of my ability) "Caleb, the paper comes in the morning, you can look at it then. Goodnight." Leaves room.

----A few minutes pass---

C: "Mom, I need to check my e-mail."

M: "Caleb, goodnight".

C: "Mom, I need a snack, my stomach is hungry"

--more dialogue leading to me letting him come into the kitchen and get a snack. I get him a cheese stick and sit with him while he "eats"---

C: "Mom, watch what I can do." He then proceeds to jam the cheese stick up his nose then pulls it out. "Look, I got a booger". He then, of course, proceeds to eat it.

--Caleb finishes his snack---

M: "Okay Caleb, now it is time to go lay down."

C: Runs into living room and grabs the phone on his way into his bedroom and yells "I have to call someone."

That, my friends occured 20 minutes ago. I can't help now but just sit and smile about the joy this kid brings into my life. Yes, he's a little booger, and it's interesting how daily life with him reminds me of the stories my mom told of me when I was young. So- sorry mom, for the pain in the butt moments- but admit it....I made you smile!!!

My dear, sweet,...pain in the butt

2008-09-26T15:36:00.000-07:00

I know it is unclear as to who I am talking about from the title of this blog. In this case, I am talking about my dear, sweet, unborn child, Thane. So, this whole uncharted territory is turning out to be territory that is left off the map for a reason. My butt is killing me!! Then there is this silly nerve problem when I lay on my right side. Goodness gracious. All that said though- I'm smiling as I am able to sit here and complain about it. What fun to be a miserable pregnant woman. :)

I had a doctor's appointment today. Everything went well. Still no blood pressure problems. I haven't dilated any more than I was on Tuesday and he actually said things feel "firmer". *Blush* Why thank you doctor.

This leads me to my next discussion point. So, all of this running to the doctor, being checked, sent home, running back, la di dah, is a bit ridiculous. Especially being that I have contractions every 3-10 minutes on any given day. So, my thought is, "gee, I have a doctor right here at home, why doesn't he just check things out for me real quick so I don't have to do the full work up at the hospital". Sounds reasonable right? I mean it's not like he didn't JUST HAVE an OB rotation and "check" hundreds of cervixes out of wedlock. So why not within the safety of wedlock? Yes, my dear, sweet, pain in the butt... wait...that was about Thane....my dear, sweet, stubborn husband is completely unwilling. He says something about not checking me because he won't mix work and home and doesn't want to look at me as a patient. Now, before you make your judgement...it's not like I'm the only one thinking this way. My nurse from the other night is dating an anesthesiologist and she said that when she is pregnant she will MAKE him check her even if she has to lock him in a room. AN ANESTHESIOLOGIST! Come on now. It's time for the perks of sleeping with an M.D. Naturally I am making a poll for this subject. My dear friends Ben and Kate had a poll for a chandelier for goodness sake- I can have one for my cervix.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

2008-09-22T08:46:00.000-07:00

Well, here we are. I'm 34 weeks and 4 days. 6 weeks and 4 days post hospital stay. If you read Ben's blog, he mentioned that on Friday I had a doctor's appointment and I was starting to dialate. She instructed me to "take my bed rest a little more seriously". First of all, I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what she is talking about, but I guess I will humor her and try harder to relax more. I was given permission to be up and around for about an hour each day- but not much more than that. At this point I am praying for patience and sanity.

Yesterday I had three hours of contractions every 5-10 minutes, so I packed my hospital bags convinced that yesterday was the day. Things settled down in the evening though, and I haven't had many today- so I am starting with new resolve to just take it day by day. This is such a weird experience knowing that I could literally go any minute...but also a challenge to see how far I can go. (1 & 1/2 more weeks and Thane could possibly come home when I do!!) I'm not super comfortable- you know with the whole constant contractions and all- but I am really thankful that I have my experience with Caleb to remind me how wonderful it is that baby is still in my belly causing me such discomfort. :)

On another note, Thane's room is ready for him. I've decorated in frogs and it is adorable! We are all getting more and more excited to have a little baby around again. Caleb talks about being a big brother and how he will teach Thane to walk and talk and play trains. He also can't wait to show Thane Papua New Guinea- which Ben is trying to set up a family trip for again around April of 2010. I have to admit I am a little nervous about trekking out there again with two children, but I'm just gonna keep praying for peace, because I know that medical missions is important to Ben. (Not that it isn't for me- but at this point in my life, I don't really feel so useful as I am just taking care of my children, cooking, and cleaning.) Anyway, there's plenty of time to think about that later.

Taking it easy...

2008-09-09T16:33:00.000-07:00

So recently there have been rumors flying that I have been walking around malls, going to parks, making trips to the library, hanging out at Wal-Mart, etc. Well, you know what? I'm not even going to dignify those rumors with a response. I think I will just let the pictures speak for themselves. That's right- that's me, not a stunt double, relaxing on the couch. Taking it nice and easy. So, there- I think that should satisfy those ugly rumors.

Things are going pretty well in the Kumor household. Ben is in a clinic rotation and the hours are amazing. He gets every weekend off, then only works until 12 or 1 most days. The last two weeks he has even gotten Tuesdays off as well. It has been heavenly. Today we took daddy to the Children's museum where Caleb was uber-excited to show his daddy everything. (Wait, did I say we?...I was home on the couch of course.) It is just so nice for them to have so much play time this month since we are preparing for some crazy changes next month. (Ben is sitting beside me whining because he thinks I made it sound like he doesn't work. I think it's a guilty conscience- but just to satisfy him...yes..he really does work...I think)

As far as the pregnancy goes. I still feel pretty good. I'm getting a little bit uncomfortable, but just that in itself makes me excited. By this point with Caleb he had been in the hospital for 2 1/2 weeks! It is just so freaking awsome that the baby is still chilling in there....well chilling is not really the right word. He doesn't really punch and kick, he more like strikes poses. I think my child is into yoga. Either that or he is a male model. I guess I will just have to teach him that there is more to life than being "really really really ridiculously good looking."

Bed Rest- Stephanie Style

2008-09-02T18:23:00.001-07:00

This past week has been a blast for the Kumor family. Naturally, I have toned things down due to this whole "bed rest" business, but we have found ways to have alot of fun with limited walking for mom. Last weekend the Airforce base put on "Sesame Street Live" for military families. It was alot of fun and best of all, FREE! Caleb really enjoyed it and he even got a hug from Cookie Monster. I only had to walk to the entrance and then got to sit and enjoy the show.

Yesterday was a nice little barbeque at Ben's sister's house- where Ben and his brother (Brent) waited on me hand and foot. Not bad at all. We also went to the park where Ben and Caleb sported matching outfits...I'll let you figure out who orchestrated that. (hint: it wasn't me)

Then today, Ben had the whole day free so we were able to go to the zoo as a family. Don't worry, we rented a wheelchair and bless Ben's heart he pushed me up, down, and around those hills all day! I heard him huffing and puffing, but there was no way he was even going to let me take three steps. Caleb had a blast running around all day. He would yell, "come on daddy, run with the wheelchair".....and of course he did. We found out that those things are definitely not built for speed as it would start wobbling until I was worried it would fall apart. That as well as almost being dumped out of the wheelchair three or four times was enough to almost put me in labor again....but we all had a blast.

We then went to see Caleb and my first IMAX movie...and it was even in 3D! Caleb did a great job and sat through the whole hour show. I was pretty proud of him...and he looked so darn cute with those big glasses. All in all, these past few weeks have gone by pretty fast.

As far as the whole pregnancy thing goes- last Thursday I went in to the hospital again because I was having around 10 contractions an hour...and no, I hadn't done anything but lay around on the couch that day. Anyway, they did a test called a fetal fibronectin. If interested you can read about it here. But basically, it was negative, so that put us at ease that the baby would not be born in the next week or two. (Ben might argue that it put me a little too much at ease...but hey..I'm a mover and a shaker....aka ADD. My body is quick to show me when I am doing too much though.) So yeah, almost 32 weeks now, and I should have at least another one in me according to this test. Woohoo. It is amazing how I can feel so uncomfortable/great at the same time. It has just been so cool feeling the baby move and actually feeling the little appendages sticking out. I am also sporting a new stretch mark. Praise the Lord! :) I can't count how many times I have said "I am so blessed" this weekend. I guess one more wont hurt. I AM SO BLESSED!!

Thankful

2008-08-20T10:43:00.000-07:00

So, I wanted to write a new blog now that I'm feeling a little less emotional. Things are really going fine and I'm just counting each day that passes by as a blessing. It has also been great to see how well Caleb is taking this whole "bed rest" thing. He has been so understanding and will bring me toys to play with on the couch instead of whining that I can't crawl around on the floor and play like before. He says "Mommy, when Thane gets bigger and comes out you will be able to play on the floor again!" It's also slowed us down a little bit and given us more chances to talk. (Before I was determined to get out of the house once a day, which many times ended in frustration with him not moving fast enough or letting me get him ready.) Anyway, he's really been cracking me up lately and I wanted to share something he said yesterday. I took him to the potty when he woke up and this was the conversation that followed:

Caleb: "Mommy, look at my pee-pee. It is bright yellow"

Me: "Well, that means that you need to drink more"

Caleb: "Drink more pee-pee?"

haha. I love this kid! There is no one I would rather be stuck in the house with all day. :)

almost 30 weeks...

2008-08-18T09:41:00.000-07:00

I've had many people over the last week say to me, "at least you have almost made it to 30 weeks", "that's great", "at least you know what to expect", and my favorite, "at least you don't have to be miserable walking around at 40 weeks". I don't take offense to these people, because obviously they have no idea what it means to have a premie, but to be honest, it kind of hurts. So I thought, well, why not put it out there what "knowing what to expect" entails.

- There is no bonding moment. Immediately after delivery the NICU staff takes the baby and does quick assessments. They hung Caleb over my face for one look and then they took him away. I didn't see him again until the next evening.
- It means looking at this poor little alienesque being in an incubator with wires and tubes everywhere and feeling like a complete failure. For the first week I cried everytime I saw him knowing that he should be warm and comfortable in my tummy still.
- Having a 30 weeker means walking out of the hospital empty. Empty abdomen- no feeling of life- and empty arms.
- Having a premie meant sitting next to the incubator those first weeks just watching the monitor, praying that his stats don't drop again because it is so scary when the nurse had to come over and rouse him.
-In the NICU you don't really have a baby. It felt like the nurse's baby that I was just visiting. You had to have permission and help to feed, bathe, or even hold the baby that you had created.

Obviously there is more, but these are the things that stick out in my mind. So why do I say all of this? Not for sympathy- that's not what I am looking for. People go through this every day- and if we were still in Papua New Guinea, I would have lost my child two weeks ago. I also don't feel sorry for what we went through, as God was there with us every single day! I just want people to realize how much all of this hurts to be facing the same situation again. I feel like a failure again and I don't need people telling me to look on the bright side when I KNOW that there is nothing bright about having a 30 weeker. Maybe instead people could have a little faith in me and for me, and help me look forward to 34. Maybe, by God's grace, I could even be miserable walking around at 40!

Home from the slammer

2008-08-14T12:52:00.000-07:00

Well, what can I say. I'm just not good at this baby carrying business. My oven only stays cooking for around 29 weeks then it does an automatic shut off. Luckily we were able to reset everything but we just aren't sure how well my timer works. I guess we'll see....

I went into labor last Friday evening and finally went into the hospital at 3 a.m. They put me on magnesium to stop everything and gave me some steroid shots for the baby's lungs. Over the weekend, things calmed down and I got to come home on Tuesday. Poor Caleb was bounced around the whole time, but he seems to have survived in one piece.

One of the hardest things has been realizing that this is the last baby I will carry. We had decided from the get-go that if there were any problems that we would accept that this would be the last. It just doesn't seem fair to put these little lives in danger. God is teaching me though, just to be thankful for these little blessings I have and realize that He, in all of his wisdom, may have other plans for us or even future children through other means.

Thank you, everyone, for your prayers. It has meant alot to Ben and I.

27 weeks

2008-08-04T21:30:00.001-07:00

Hey Everybody,

I thought I would just write a little update on the pregnancy and life here. So far I am feeling pretty good. I feel a little more healthy with this one than I did with Caleb (that is possibly due to all of the cake, ho-hos, etc. that I helped myself to during Caleb's pregnancy.) I have had some contractions, just like with Caleb...but am finding that lots of water and rest calm them down quickly. The doctor ran some tests to see if there was something that caused my preeclampsia with Caleb and I evidently tested positive for some sort of clotting disorder. ( I would tell more, but I don't really know any more.) So, anyway, he's having me take a baby asprin a day, so hopefully that will help keep this one in the cooker longer.

Caleb is doing great, and he is really excited about his brother. He talks about changing the poopy diapers, and how the baby will play trains with him. I know it will be quite an adjustment, but for the moment he is ready to be a big brother. We have joined a play group and Caleb is slowly getting used to being around other children. He is still scared of toddlers, but I see him being more and more assertive.

Ben has started his first real month of residency, OB. He really likes it and delivered his first baby on the first day. He also survived his first weekend of call. I'm really proud of him! Caleb has also adjusted his play signifying that he has noticed the change as well. He will say "Mommy, I have to go to the hospital because there is a sick lady and I need to help her feel better." He will then proceed to "drive off" on his little bike. He returns long enough to say he is home, and then goes through the whole process again. He does get so excited though when Ben walks in the door. He will yell, "Daddy!!! YAY!! Congratulations, daddy!" He sure does look up to him!

Overall we are doing really great. I love my boys and just feel so blessed!

Home sweet HOME!

2008-07-03T15:24:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody! So, after a few months of being vagabonds, we are finally in our own home...not just our stuff...we are here too! For those of you who don't know, the day we were supposed to move into the home, there was a pretty bad storm in Omaha and a fallen tree ripped the power and cable lines from our house. Alot of Omaha was out of power for about 4 days. Anyway, we have been able to sleep in our home the last two nights and the cable guy just hooked us up with our internet. Not that I am going to blog tons more- I have found that being back in the states has produced little to write about. :) We sure do still miss Papua New Guinea, but we are getting back into the swing of things here. Ben has started his residency, but this month is mainly orientation- so it has been pretty GREAT hours. I have been feeling pretty good with my pregnancy, I just have to take it easy or the contrations start again. I'm determined to hold on this time and I think the little guy is going to cooperate.
Our new home phone is 402-884-6823. Give us a call, or come by and see the sweet new pad if any of you just happen to be driving thorough Nebraska....:)

Home sweet...wait, we don't have a home

2008-05-29T21:15:00.000-07:00

Well, we have made it back into the States. I suppose I should have written that....oh....about 2 weeks ago, but hey, better late then never, right? We were greeted at the airport by my mom, dad, sister, and niece with posters and flowers- so that was nice. The plane rides were tolerable, but nothing that we want to attempt again in the near future. Since arriving home, we have packed up all of our belongings, moved them to Nebraska, and are (tomorrow) headed back towards Ohio for Ben's graduation.
It seems like it has been years since we were in New Guinea and we miss everyone there terribly. It's kind of a depressing thought knowing that we may never have the opportunity to return....although we are praying for the opposite. I don't know how to summarize what our time in New Guinea meant to us, but we have come back as changed people. I might try in a couple blogs, but I think I'll just hit the biggest issue for me in this one:
We were only in Papua New Guinea for 2 & 1/2 months, but it's like we completely forgot what it was like to be in the States. It sounds silly, but the first time I watched cable television, I just wanted to cry. When we see it every day, we have a tendency to become desensitized to what we are watching. Even with so called "family programming" like Dancing with the Stars. Having my little boy in the room while these women wear little more than bikinis and call them dresses just made me sad. How am I going to teach him to respect women when other women don't appear to want to be respected. (Believe me, before we left, I was a reality show junkie. Not the good ones, I might add- if there are any.) Anyway, I won't say anymore about this issue except the Lord really spoke to me the other night and I was completely convicted on this issue. I want the way I entertain myself and my family to be glorifying to the Lord. It's going to be harder here than it was in New Guinea just because of the overabundance of crap that our pop culture has to offer.
Anyway, all that being said, we are really enjoying spending this last month off as a family. We've been to the zoo a couple times and have just been having fun. Caleb keeps saying that he wants to go back to Papua New Guinea, but I don't think he realizes that we would have to sit through the plane rides again if we were to do that. He is loving seeing all of his grandparents though and they are all spoiling him with new trains and lots of hugs. As for me and Ben- we have been keeping busy with our Wii. We stayed up until about 4 the other day playing- which doesn't help with the whole getting our sleep patterns straight endeavor. We have to do it now though, before he is actually a grown up and can't play all the time anymore!

Another week, another life-threatening event

2008-05-11T17:33:00.000-07:00

Well, we are starting our final week here at PNG, and I know alot of people will enjoy being able to quit holding their breath for our safety. Like I said last week, it seems like everywhere you want to go around here is a life-threatening journey. Even driving along the main road you run the risk of being stopped by gunned men and robbed. I won't tell these stories I have heard until I am safely home. :) (I do have to say I am awful proud of Judy, there were a group of men in the road yesterday and she just plowed by, ignoring their gestures for her to stop.) Anyway, back to the event- I was NOT involved this time. Ben and a group of guys went repelling into an unexplored cave. I felt uneasy the whole time they were planning this trip, but, around here, I guess you just can't live in fear. The morning they left, I was laying in bed and heard Ben call my name. It was so real that I yelled back, "what?" only to find upon looking around that he was not anywhere around. I was so sure that I heard him call me that I even looked out on the front porch to see if he was there. Immediately I felt a strong desire to just pray for the men. I won't give too many details because I know Ben is going to write a blog about the experience tonight, I will just say that the Lord was with them, kept them calm, and protected them! I don't know all of the technicalities, but a D-ring came loose as Ben was assending the cave- about 50 feet up. He was able to struggle in mid-air for about an hour and get it latched enough for him to continue up. After the second came up, the youngest of the guys couldn't reach the top, and we had to send some men from the base into the darkness to retrieve him (2 hours away). Needless to say, us wives were praying. A big group of native children who are close to the guy stuck down there ran all of the way from the hospital to the cave to make sure he would be okay. Then, upon his return, they were all singing outside of his house, "Our God is so big, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing our God can not do."

We spent Mother's Day with the same two guys and their families. We rode into town to church, then the Highlander hotel for a poolside meal and swim. The sermon was interesting, and the message different than what you would hear in the states. His emphasis was on creation and how woman was created to be a helper for the man, not property or under the man, but equal and important. It's interesting how much women do in this culture. They are actually viewed as the strong ones, because they do alot of hard labor and carry their children everywhere. You also won't see a man and woman holding hands. Men hold hands all of the time as a sign of friendship with other men, but since men are viewed as above women, even if married, they do not walk around holding hands. I'm sure Ben and we got some strange looks yesterday, but I was clinging to that man knowing I could have lost him the day before! It ended up being a great Mother's Day though as we relaxed then played in the pool.

Well, like I said, we have a week left and we sure are going to miss it here. I get teary-eyed when I think about it. We have made such great friends and I can only pray that God would allow us the opportunity to someday return. Caleb especially has really adapted and settled in. I know he will miss his new friends- especially Priscilla and Olivia. Olivia and him are both two and get along quite nicely if there are no toys involved- especially if the activity is simply throwing rocks or playing in the mud.

Computer problems

2008-05-05T06:19:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to let you guys know- one of the hospital computers has a virus and has been seding out SPAM from the network. Sorry if you have gotten any from me. Anyway, if you have an aol adress, then I will be unable to write you from my e-mail until the problem is fixed. :(

Food and Fun

2008-05-04T17:49:00.000-07:00

Another week that has just flown by here in PNG. It seems like we have been here forever, yet the time is just slipping away so fast. This weekend, we had a missionary potluck as missionaries came from all over the area. It was so yummy! (You know how at church pot-lucks, there is always that unidentifiable dish that you are afraid to touch? Well, they don't have those at these. Everything is made from scratch and tastes delicious!) We met some nice people from Wales that were translators for a community about 45 minutes away. These are the missionaries that just come to a tribe, learn the language, form relationships, and start teaching about the bible. Rachel, one of the wives was telling me about this process. (There are two couples there with their children.) She said they start with creation and go all of the way through the old testament before they even talk about Jesus and the resurrection. She said that if this is not all done systematically then the people have a tendency to just add what they learn into their own beliefs. The way they approach it, the people have a complete understanding before they get to the good news Jesus brought. She said that they know this is a 10-15 year commitment, but God has called them and they are ready to see it through. (They have been there 1 year.) I'm realizing more and more the amazing commitment that all of these families here have made. It's truly a God thing!

Caleb had a great time at the potluck- of course his favorite person was there- Priscilla. I don't know how we are going to leave her. Ben mentioned this in his blog, but Caleb is really coming out of his shell and learning to play with the other kids and trust other people. Prodded by the other missionary kids, he even asked Priscilla to marry him. (He asked Olivia too, who is more his age at 2 vs. 17, but she said no. I was talking to her mom this morning and we agreed it was a good thing, because we don't want to have to start worrying about bride price and planning a big mumu.) I also want to mention that Caleb is finally completely potty trained. I'm so proud of him, and he is so proud of his "productions"- if ya know what I mean. :) My little boy is growing up!

After the potluck, we had a joint missionary service (I will touch on that again in a minute) and then a group of us headed to a rock slide. (It is exactly that: a series of waterfalls where the rocks have been smoothed out and are used as waterslides.) I didn't think it would be that dangerous since the missionary children were going- including Olivia- the other two year old. Anyway, I am learning that everywhere you travel to around here is life-threatening! There are these silly little "bridges" you have to cross, things you have to jump over, crawl around, climb, etc. After about an hour walk covering about 4-5 miles, we made it there alive, and ended up having a pretty good time. Ben fell a couple times- each time taking a child with him- but I managed to stay on my feet. (See mom, I am being very careful!) I have started to feel the new little Kumor moving around which is pretty exciting, but also a reminder that I need to slow down a little bit...that and the fact that I was more worn out than the seven year old missionary kid on our walk home!

At the joint missionary service on Sunday, Ben and I were asked to share a bible scripture. We talked about what each others favorite verses were, and were surprised to find out that both of them centered around hope. Mine is Psalm 71:14 "But as for me I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more." In verse 20 it goes on to say "Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again." I think the first few weeks I was here, I was discouraged for the people. I didn't think it was fair that we were able to call ourselves Christians, just the same as them. I thought that for some reason because of the hardships they endure they should have a stronger name. When I was reading through this passage though, I got to thinking about it more in depth. The issues that they face here are very much the same as we face in the States. They worry about rape, poverty, violence, disease, and infidelity. Sounds alot like things that have touched my life and the lives of friends in the U.S. Sure, we have alot more comforts and material things- but I am beginning to think those are more of a distraction than an advantage. The basic gist is that we are all living with the realities of a fallen world- and whether we are in the jungles of Papua New Guinea, or in the Suburbs in the United States- we have nothing if we don't have the hope that is offered to us through Jesus Christ....yet we have everything if we do have that hope!

We have two more weeks to go, and plan to just soak in as much as possible. It has been such a wonderful experience and we can't wait to come home and share more about it with you all!

I'll leave you with a Caleb quote- and yes, he came up with this all by himself- he starts kicking around rocks on the road and says "look mom, I'm rockin".

Our life in New Guinea

2008-04-28T00:54:00.001-07:00

If all of your friends jumped off of a bridge....

2008-04-26T17:32:00.000-07:00

I guess we all know now what my answer would be to that question- yes I would jump. Especially if a ten year old was challenging me. Due to the overwhelming responses of shock and horror at my recent jump from "suicide rock" I feel the need to react. The concern hasn't been for Ben, or the missionary children that jumped, but me, the pregnant woman. I would like to put this to rest right now- everywhere you read, the two activities approved for pregnant women are walking and swimming. I was well within my limits. Moe Moe the embryo (we've changed the name) responded that very day by ceasing to cause me nausea. Is it a coincidence that the event coincided with entering the second trimester? Probably, but I prefer to see it as an act of approval. I do hear your concerns though, and have decided to no longer jump off waterfalls. On the bright side, we have encountered an act from God. Our camera is actually in complete working order.
On a completely different note, I wanted to sit down and write about a new prayer request that is affecting the entire country. Almost three weeks ago, there was a major landslide about 30 minutes from Kudjip. Basically because of all of the rain, the side of a mountain fell off and sunk completely below the ground. The result was a ripple of land that completely destroyed about a mile stretch of the Highlands Highway, which is the main/only road servicing the highlands from the coast. The word floating around is that it will take about 6 months to get this fixed. This has had huge implications all over the country. One of the main issues is that groceries and diesel cannot be brought up. For example, we talked to a coffee plantation owner the other day in town. His problem is that he cannot drive around to the local growers to collect the coffee cherries. (Starbucks is actually one of his buyers). This is the only income that these local farmers have. (I'm sure Starbucks will still carry your Java, but these families won't be able to survive). Yesterday when we went into town there were cars lined up and clustered at the fuel stations. Many waited for hours, but only a few were able to get diesel.
The hospital here is also seeing the fallout from the landslide. Mainly, the supplies of medicine and oxygen will be affected, but also, people are just plain having trouble getting there. For transportation, there are PMV's (public motor vehicles) that move people from town to town, but the prices have gone up considerably and people just don't have money. The maids that work on the compound are having to walk about an hour to get here. The big push now is for the government to declare a state of emergency. They can't start working with heavy machinery yet because evidently the land is still moving, but if a state of emergency were declared, then (according to the plantation owner) troops could secure the area and they could build a pipeline to at least transport diesel across the landslide site. In the U.S. of course this would have been done within a week, but the corruption and general slow nature of the government is keeping this from happening. Anyway, as I look back at what I wrote, it is just so hard to put into words what is happening, but it is so sad for the people. I think the general consensus is that they are upset, sad, and completely frustrated- but they don't have a government that is really worried about public opinion, and they don't feel like anyone is working on their behalf. We do have someone who is bigger than the government and definitely cares though- would you all join us in praying that He would work in this situation?
I also learned something new about the culture the other day at our "toddler pool party". (Don't worry, no cliff jumping involved- and the only waterfall was from the hose finding it's way into a two year olds hands). The peoples lives are heavily influenced by their belief in evil spirits and the spirits of the dead. Evidently there was a case of a family who was convinced that their colicky baby was possessed by evil spirits. So much so, that they held it over the fire to scare away the spirits- then brought it into the hospital.(I have a feeling that social services would have been all over that in the states) Also, when an important member of a tribe dies, they automatically assume it is a curse from a rival tribe and will seek retaliation. These beliefs are prevalent in the non believing tribes, but also amongst Christians. I gathered that the missionaries are pretty frustrated about these beliefs, obviously, but don't know how to approach it in a way that they aren't immediately shut off as just being the "white people who just don't understand". So, yeah, just another thing to pray for- that God would give the missionaries wisdom in handling these deep rooted beliefs.
I think that's enough update for tonight. Thank you all for your letters and encouragement. We love hearing how everyone is doing!

Another in a series of unfortunate events

2008-04-26T17:30:00.000-07:00

Hope you are all having a great weekend! We had quite an eventful one. For those of you who knew our plans, we visited suicide rock today. We returned almost in the same condition we left in. It was about a two mile walk/mud slosh/hop over ditch/climb, from our house, and yes, we took Caleb along with us. I was impressed with Ben- as he ended up carrying Caleb the whole way. "Suicide Rock" is basically a waterfall and at the base there is a deep area that you can jump down into. The current then takes you about 10 feet to a place where you can pull yourself out of the water. The water was moving pretty fast, so I had determined I wouldn't jump, but after the 10 year old son of the missionaries jumped- I knew I had to do it. Ben and I both survived, but the verdict is still out on our new camera. I was taking a picture of someone else jumping from the top with their camera when I turned and accidently knocked our camera off the cliff. One of the missionary kids, Sam, and Ben were already down stream, so they were able to retrieve it. We are praying for a miraculous recovery. :) (This is why I can't attach any cool pictures of the beautiful walk and waterfall)
Friday evening we had a game and dessert night with all of the missionaries. We had such an amazing time, and the more time we spend with these people (sorry to say this mom) the more we realize that we could do this sometime down the road. (Although I'm not sure Ben will bring me next time after losing money and ruining our camera. It seems I may be more of a risk then benefit.) Life is just so much simpler- not necessarily easier- just simpler. Families spend time together and really enjoy each other. The teenagers and kids were all right in there playing games with the adults. It just felt like the way things should be!
The native children have been hanging around a bit more lately. I gave some cookies out a couple of weeks ago and I think the word has spread. We don't really have much candy left, so I gave them a pack of gum the other day. I hope they know what to do with it. :) Oh well, I'm sure they will come up with something creative if they don't know. One of the little girls we have met, Lilly, came to our door the other night when I was trying to fix dinner. I sent Ben to answer it because I was tired, hungry, and frankly a little annoyed because I was not in the mood to hand out candy. Anyway, she asked Ben if she could see me so I begrudgingly washed my hands and went to the door...only to find her standing there with a bouqet of beautiful flowers that she had picked for me. Talk about a hit in the gut. When I was working in social work in the United States, I got really tired of the "gimme gimme, I'm entitled to everything I can get" attitude. This just reminded me how different the feeling is here.
I have also had time to sit and talk and make friends with a woman named Meti. She works in the garden behind our house and cleans many of the missionaries homes. (for about $0.66/hour) She is a wonderful Christian woman and, like a group of Nazarene nationals here, is trying to raise enough money to go come with the missionaries for general assembly in Orlando. (I don't really know how this is possible- but I'm guessing the Nazarene church has some kind of matching fund, or the missionaries are supplementing in some way.) She is incredibly excited about the opportunity to come to the U.S. Anyway, it started raining the other day, so we had the opportunity to just sit and talk on the front porch. She started telling me a little bit about her story. She has three teenagers at home and her husband left her last December and married another woman. She's having trouble supporting her family, and completing both his and her responsibilities, but then she said, amidst the tears, "but I know that God is with me." She literally has nothing. Yeah, just makes you think.
Ben had the opportunity this week to pray with a family that had lost a child. Basically the one-year-old girl, who was a twin, fell out of her bed (a bilam hooked like a hammock onto the wall) and died instantly. The mother went into shock and they brought her to the hospital. I'll let him tell more about it in his blog if he wants, but I know he thought it was a pretty amazing experience to be able to comfort them with prayer right there in the hospital. No questions asked.
To end on a positive note, Caleb has learned an awsome trick- he can throw up the "people's eyebrow" on command. Everyone is pretty amused by it here, so we look forward to being able to show off his newfound skill when we return. There is a picture on Ben's blog, but it just doesn't do it justice!
Alright, enough from me. I hope this finds everyone well. We sure are having a great time here, but we love hearing from you all!

more adventures

2008-04-26T17:28:00.000-07:00

Hey Everybody,
Well, Ben did an ultrasound on me today (we just happened to be in the room and wanted to play around with the machine) and wouldn't ya know it- there's a baby in there. Cletus the fetus 2 was doing his little acrobatics and we saw the little heart going strong. I'm 11 weeks now, so we'll be seeing the little booger around Halloween. We've already informed Cletus that he/she is not wecome until that point. Just wanted you all to know.
We walked down to the river today. It was horribly muddy and I put on a good comedy for the natives as I sunk down in the mud past my ankles...with sandles on...holding Caleb. Yeah, they thought it was hillarious- but not one hand to help me out. Keep the laughs coming white girl! After much struggle, and mud flying up my dumb skirt I finally broke free. We were able to clean off in the brown river that smelled like poo...and I felt completely refreshed. We really did end up having a pretty good time. I felt very "natural" walking the mile back with mud stains.
One thing that has taken some getting used to is being the center of attention. The natives just think that white people, especially when they are two and crying, are just the most entertaining thing possible. There are always crowds following us. They are very friendly and always say a greeting, but after you walk past they start giggling. A missionary has told us that they just think it is funny that they are brave enough to talk to the "white skins". That aside, they are a very compassionate people. I forgot to mention that when I lost my wallet in town, I kind of broke down for a minute because Caleb was acting very "two" at the same moment. ("Two" is no longer a number, it is an adjective) Anyway, our watchman that was riding with us was in the back of the van started crying too. He kept saying sorry to me and felt so bad that this had happened. It was so sweet!
(Angie, you've already heard this, but I'm gonna pull some of what I wrote to you so I don't have to think about it too much again.) I do have some bad news, the baby in the picture that I sent last e-mail passed away. They have actually lost quite a few babies this past week. In fact, it is customary not to name kids until they are about a year old to make it "easier" to deal with a loss. Absolutely crazy. How blessed I was to have been born in the U.S. If we were here, even as missionaries, Caleb and I both probably wouldn't have made it. But, then, how horrible I feel for saying that when I hear moms wailing from the hospital after they have just lost a child. It's just so crazy! Like I have said before, I can't even wrap my mind around most things I see and hear.
I hate to end on that note, so I will just talk about the missionaries a little bit. They are such amazing people and have really given up so much to be here- yet at the same time they are so blessed in that there are so few of the distractions that we have in the U.S. It's so easy to focus on God and family here...and it really is beautiful. I know we will miss it. Alright, that's all for now. Hope you all are doing well! We miss everyone!! Love-
The Kumors

crazy pic

2008-04-26T17:26:00.000-07:00

I know I mentioned the high infant mortality rate in another e-mail. There was a case the other night, however, of a little baby born at 27 weeks that is still hanging in there. Josh was on call and went to the hospital for this woman who was in labor. Him and the other doctor were talking close to the bed when they looked over and the baby had delivered on its own, with the sac and placenta still intact. I guess this is a pretty crazy thing. This is the picture they took directly after. You can see the baby's face smashed up against the sac. (Ben wanted me to add that the big "meaty looking thing" in the picture is the placenta.) Pray for this little one. Premies don't usually make it around here. (We were remembering the many times when Caleb was in the NICU and would have apneas. His moniters would all go off and a nurse would come and shake him, tap his feet, etc. to get him breathing again. The sad thing is that sometimes, babies here die because there are no oximiters or moniters that go off in the night when they stop breathing- so no one knows to stimulate them.)
On another note, we went to the market yesterday. I got my first taste of PNG crime when my wallet was lifted. It didn't have tons of money in it, but it did carry my visa bank card. The missionary told me that this is the best country to lose that in because they won't be able to figure out a way to use it. So we are on the look out for a little PNG boy with a red shirt- probably coming out of a store with LOTS of candy. :)
Tomorrow is Sarah and Josh's last day here with us. We will be sad to see them go. Time is truly flying here, but we are learning alot. I guess we feel like we have to take in as much as possible, and learn as much as we can- otherwise we have been horrible stewards of thousands of dollars. One thing I want to mention to all of you is the new hospital that is being built here. It is mostly funded by the Australian government and PNG people, but will carry the Nazarene name. The building project is in danger, however, because they don't have the funds to complete the sewer system. The missionaries use their furlows in the US to raise funds, but there are only so many people they can reach. All over the U.S. we build million dollar buidlings to improve upon the already adequate buildings we have, yet our Christian brothers across the world are happy to have a roof. The least we can do is remember to pray for them. God knows how this building will be completed.
I hope I don't strike any cords with the things I write, but this trip has just been so eye-opening. I have been a Nazarene all of my life, but knew nothing about this ministry here. This is the only Nazarene hospital in the world. Can we all who call ourselves Nazarenes just remember to pray for it?

Singaut long teksi i kam long mi

2008-04-26T17:25:00.000-07:00

I realized that I haven't sat down to write for awhile, and after sitting through my first PNG service today at the Nazarene Bible College, I thought it was a good time. It's been 8 hours since we were released from the church service, but I still can't seem to wrap my mind around the experience. It was completely humbling/eye openeing. I'm going to try and put into words everything I felt, but I know I will fail to do the church any justice- so bear with me...It's better than nothing. :) From the moment we walked into the service, we were welcomed with warm smiles and hand shakes. People were genuinely happy to have us. Many of the songs were the same as you would hear in the states, just translated to tok pisin. (I think my favorite phrase that they use is "Papa God".) During the worship, the leader of music in an attempt to humble himself, sang with his back to the congregation and facing the cross. It was clear that no one on stage was looking for personal edification.
At the beginning of the service, two people came forward to give testimonies. (I'm not sure if this is something that happens regularly or not because I didn't understand what the pastor said before they came forward. Their testimonies were translated for us by the missionaries who brought us.) The man talked about how he used to fight all of the time. He was running around with nothing to do but cause trouble and was in a major argument with his brother. At that time, he was invited to church where a missionary from the hospital was preaching. He decided to give his life to God and now is studying to be a pastor at the Nazarene Bible College. He talked about how he had no joy when he was doing all of that running around- and now he has complete joy. The next person to talk was a woman. She talked about how she was living her life without peace, from the moment she woke up to the moment she laid down at night. Then Calvary found her and she now lives with peace. Joy and Peace. During both of the testimonies, my mind went to the other stories I have been hearing. Regarding the men, there are multiple cases a week in the hospital where meaningless fighting has led to serious injury. As for the women, the missionaries tell me that each and every woman on the compound have faced their own struggles. From domestic violence to the common occurance of losing children. (I'm losing count as to how many times Ben or Josh has come home to say that they lost a baby that day.) There is one woman who was kidnapped from her family and forced to marry a man many years her elder. She, however, has stuck by his side and become a strong Christian witness in their tribe. So when these people talk about peace and joy amidst their situations, it is certainly something that surpasses my understanding. It is not just a happy feeling that they get in church on Sunday that keeps them through the week. These are life changing concepts to them.
I think what moved me the most was when the pastor stood up at the end of the service and read Romans 10:14-15. He thanked the missionaries for their coming to Papua New Guinea. Then he started to cry and talked about how he would be lost without Calvary, but they took the time to bring it to sinners like him. The pastor of this church is a direct result of missionaries> mission budgets> our tithe. I saw it in action today, and even though the Nazarene church is far from perfect. (Very Far...hehe) I am proud to be a part of a denomination that believes in the great need for missions.

P.S. The subject line of this e-mail means "Please call a taxi for me". You never know when you will need to know that information. I hope it is life changing for you.

Easter in PNG

2008-04-26T17:23:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter Everyone! Apenun!
We have had a beautiful and sunny Easter here in Papua New Guinea. There was a sunrise service this morning at one of the missionary homes at 6:30 a.m. I wasn't there, of course, but Ben said the sunrise was beautiful. We then had an Easter pot-luck at one of the missionaries homes. What great people we have here representing our faith. The more I get to know them, the more I know for sure that God hand selects these amazing people.
I wanted to write about a special event that occured last night. Our first tribal fight. At about 4 p.m. we started hearing loud shouts and cries coming from the market on the corner. (Not a market that we attend, or any of the missionaries really frequent becuase of the shady nature). Every once and awhile we would here a group of men break out in song then there were sounds of gunshots . We thought at first that a bride price had been named. This is what Sam (an MK) said last time we heard groups of people shouting. The shouting, however, sounded much more aggressive and unpleasant. The singing we heard was a victory song from one of the tribes, but as soon as they started singing, the other tribe came back with rocks full force. Pretty soon, we started seeing native workers that live on the compound crossing our yard and going to the back gate to see what was happening. That was when we knew this wasn't a normal occurance. We came to find out later that the hospital lies on land in between two tribes that are traditional enemies. The government gave the land to the Nazarene church to try and create a buffer zone. How lucky for us! This meant that we were in the middle of all of the action. If you know me, I was, of course, out with the camera trying to record some of the action. (I definitely get that from dad.) The shouting went on for about 3 hours, then at nightfall it suddenly stopped. Come to find out, there is an unwritten rule that the fighting stops at dark. Later, at dinner, we also found out that the gunshots we heard were the police trying to break up the fight. They, however, don't get too involved because they are scared as well of the large groups of people. Dr. Bennet informed us, however, that we are safe on the compound. He said that no one would do harm to the hospital because each tribe knows that it is the health care for the whole area, and whoever laid harm to it would enjoy the wrath of all of the other tribes within days of this vacinity. We were, however, all happy that the fighting did not pick up again on Easter Sunday morning.
I hope you all have a wonderful Easter. As you go to service today, remember these two tribes in prayer, that through the hospital more and more of them would come to know the Lord.

To market, to market, holy cow! Did I just see a fat pig?

2008-04-26T17:22:00.001-07:00

Hello from PNG!
Yesterday we ventured into town for the market with one of the other missionary wives and it ended up (like most events here probably will be) something new and worth writing about.
Judy (doctor Bennett's wife) picked us up in the mission van at about 9 and we headed out of the mission....nothing abnormal. We drove up the lane a bit and Judy stopped again, opening the door and inviting in a native man holding a machete. "This is Simon," she said,"he will be our watchman today." Then we drove about 100 more yards and stopped at the gate to say a prayer for our safety. Remember the little fear I mentioned in the previous e-mail? Yeah, this didn't help.
During the 45 minute drive into Mt. Hagen I was still amazed at the number of people just walking or sitting along the roads. (We talked to one of the missionaries about this at dinner last night. Most of the people in this area have 0 annual income and are purely sustinence farmers. The men are in charge of planting and harvesting, but the women are in charge of maintaining, so after the planting, the men don't have much to do.) When we got into town I found it was much the same. There were people EVERYWHERE...and boy did we stick out. People are fascinated by Caleb and would just follow us wherever we went. He handled this very well for the shy boy that he is.
The first couple stores we went to were fairly modern. The main one was similar to a walmart. There were groceries on one side and then clothes, shoes, etc. on the other. Surprisingly, there are alot of the same brands we have in the U.S. However, those things are obviously more expensive than the foreign brands and most of them are old or expired. (I was excited to see that there were Fruit Loops, but upon bringing them home, found out they had expired last month....they kind of tasted like colored cardboard). Everyone was waving us to their isle and I felt bad having to choose.
After lunch, (at a modern hotel where Caleb got naked into the pool) we went to an open air market. The vegetables were beautiful and so inexpensive in comparison to the U.S. ( For example, I paid about $.10 for tomatoes and $.33 for a pile of potatoes) Again, there, everyone loved Caleb. He, of course, wanted to touch everything and the people would just give him whatever he was touching. I felt bad and wanted to pay, but Judy said they are more than happy to give to him and would be offended if I didn't take it. This made for a very heavy market bag for me. Thank goodness he didn't touch any watermelons or pinapples.
After the market, we headed home. The shopping took about 6 hours because of the crowds. Good thing I had some time on my hands. :)
I was amazed at how comfortable I felt by the end of the day. The people are so kind and generous. They are always smiling and wanting to shake hands. Judy said that they wondered at first where the people were that caused the problems, because everyone was so sweet. They found out, though, that it is the same people. They always come home by 4 p.m. because that is about when the drinking starts. Then, from there, it is just so easy for fights to break out when a machete is readily available if tempers flair. On they way back into the compound, Judy was showing us the line it is safe to walk to by ourselves. The women are seen as weak in this culture and easy targets for violence. Judy mentioned that her maid wears about 7 drawstring shorts under her skirt to help protect her from a rape. What police forces there are near the cities are in most cases full of corruption. We ate with a New Guinea native doctor that is doing a rotation at the hospital and he talked about the sad state that the country is in. New Guinea has such amazing resources, but is still an undeveloping nation solely because of corruption and theft among leadership and big issues involved with tribalism. That was another interesting thing about the hospital here. There are some interesting rules involving tribal warfare. Basically, the hospital will only treat one side of a tribal fight. When we asked how they choose, Dr. Bennet said whichever one gets there first. They won't treat the others then because they don't want to bring the violence onto the compound. They also make people pay higher fees if they are coming in for such things as tribal warfare or spousal abuse. There are many things they are able to do here that you would never get away with in the U.S. One last thing I wanted to mention is how the missionaries view Aids here. Evidently Papua New Guinea is in the same place that Africa was ten years ago with aids. They are working very hard on prevention so that it doesn't escalate to the same state. They view it however, as a tragedy, but opportunity. They are finally able to teach monogomy. Before, Judy said, because of their culture, they didn't understand why they had to only be with one person. Now, however, the missionaries can teach that if they have sex with numerous people or prostitutes then come home and be with their wives they could die. It is very effective. :)
I dont' say all of that to worry you, mom, or make it sound that I should be constantly scared, because I'm really not. I actually feel completely comfortable and Sara and Caleb and I took a long walk this morning around the compound. It is just that being here makes you realize how many people are in need of a peace in their lives. We were fortunate to be born in a country where we don't live in fear each day that we may be raped or be involved in tribal or domestic fights involving machetes. People in the US don't understand how much we need a Savior because we have other ways to give our lives meaning and importance- through our careers, our families, our posessions, you name it. There are so many distractions to us and compromises that are made in the church to make everyone feel comfortable and happy. It is such a gut-wrenching experience to see the other side. Just simple people with absolutley nothing who need peace, hope, and joy- and know that it can come from nothing they have. I know this is alot of religious talk, but you can't be here and eat with these missionaries, see the countryside, and talk to the people and not think about God every moment. I really like it.

Planes, planes, & more planes

2008-04-26T17:19:00.001-07:00

After the LONGEST 24 hours of our lives, we have safely arrived to our exotic home in Kudjip. I will rehash the details later, but I am still sleep deprived and waiting expectantly for evening, so it's just too fresh to discuss right now.
Words can't describe how beautiful the scenery is. Outside our front door is a breathtaking view of the forest covered mountains and both the front and back windows display flowers out of a national geographic picture. Checkered throughout the countryside around us are little thatchet houses and a beautiful stream.
We are actually staying in a three bedroom house with our friends, Josh and Sarah. One of the missionary families left and the house was empty for us to use. It is in a little "campground like" setting with the other missionary houses and native workers from the hospital around. It is 300 times better than the accomodations I expected. We have a bathroom complete with shower and they have a pack and play set up for Caleb in his own room. We do have little ants, but that is far better than the giant spiders and snakes I pictured crawling through the house.
The missionaries already refer to themselves when talking to Caleb as "aunts and uncles" and one family had us over for lunch about an hour after we arrived. They are so welcoming towards us and I'm sure will watch out for us.
All of that being said, I still hold on to a few fears, mainly about safety. It is a different culture with tribal spats, domestic abuse involving machetes, and impoverished people living in a neverending cycle. Driving home from the airport, there were literally hundreds of people just sitting or walking in groups along the road, nothing to do. As I walked into our bedroom, though, I saw that there is a sign above our bed that reads, "Fear not, little flock, for it is the Father's great pleasure to give you the kingdom." (Luke 12:32) It will be a great reminder to read that each night and morning. A sweet small whisper that we are doing this for the Lord, and this is what he calls Christians to do....no matter what may come, because we are eternally safe in His arms.
There is so much to say and we have only been here for 5 hours. I am too tired to keep sitting and typing though. We are trying to stay up until 7 at least so that we can get on the right schedule. Thank you for your prayers as we travelled...there were many times I felt God was working with Caleb especially. He really was a trooper and no matter how many planes we had been on, was always amazingly excited to get on the next. Again though- more about that later. I just can't bring myself to talk about planes. Ugh.
Yay, we made it!!!!! :) Love
Stephanie, Ben, and Caleb

Thanks for coming by.

2008-04-26T17:00:00.000-07:00

Well, I actually started this page about 2 1/2 years ago. Caleb wasn't due for another few months and I was planning to talk about the last stages of his pregnancy. Obviously, less than two weeks later I delivered Caleb. What I thought was him pushing up against the corner of my belly was actually contractions and I had been having them for awhile. I went in for a regular check up and evidently I was in active labor and dialated to 5 cm. Anyway I had preeclamsia, and we were able to hold off for a week before he was induced because it had turned severe. Needless to say, I didn't have much time to write after that. Caleb was born at 30 weeks and had to stay in the NICU for 45 days. He, however, has caught up, even excelled developmentally and he really is such a bright spot in the family.
Now, at the start of a new journey, I'll attempt again to chronicle some of our lives. We are currently in Papua New Guinea where Ben will do his final rotations at the Nazarene mission hospital in Kudjip. It has been quite the adventure. (I have been sending out e-mails, but since blogs are the cool thing to do now, I will be moving all of the previous letters on to here.) Thanks so much for taking the time to read!

Week 28

2005-10-13T20:21:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that Caleb will be here in less than 12 weeks. Maybe I am naive, but I'm not really nervous about him coming at all. I'm not worried about taking care of him, sleep deprivation, or even scared about him changing my life much at all. I think that God really knew what he was doing by giving us 9 months to get used to the whole idea of a baby! Anyway..Ben and I are really excited and just looking forward to having him around.
Caleb is quite a kicker. He likes to shove himself into the upper left corner of my belly...not quite sure what that is about....and he will curl up under a warm hand on my belly (mainly his daddy's..being as Ben is always warm!) and I'm hoping this means he will be a cuddler.